Diamond Eyes

Chapter 45

#LetLeniLead

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The raindrops were slowly falling but I can still see his clear face from afar. His eyes were tired and expressing loneliness.

Sobrang gwapo niya pa rin. Siguro kinain ko lang ang mga sinabi ko.

I'm still not ready to face him yet. He was just standing there and something is really convincing me to step near. Gustong-gusto ko siya yakapin pero hindi ko kaya. And just like that, I turned around and started to walk away.

I gasped when something forcibly turned me around and held my hand. I can feel and hear my heart beating so hard.

"Celaine." Desperadong tawag niya sa akin at konti na lang ay papalya na ang mga tuhod ko. I can feel the warmth of his hand on my arms.

"I'm tired." Sagot ko. Iyon na lang ang naisip kong sabihin sa kanya para lubayan niya na ako. Hindi ko pa kaya harapin siya.

O kakayanin ko pa kaya?

He was still gripping my hand and I gently swayed it away from him. "Celaine, please..." Desperadong saad niya.

I gathered all of my energy to calm myself and stared blankly at him. Kumikintab na rin ang mga mata niya dahil sa namumuong luha. "I'm so happy that you're back." And he hugged me.

And I cannot hug him back.

I've been a disloyal wife to him and he doesn't deserve that.

Matatanggap niya pa kaya ako kung malaman niya ang totoo?

"I want to rest." Tipid kong saad nang bitawan niya ako. Mabilis ako naglakad palayo sa kanya habang dinadamdam ang katahimikan ng bahay na ito.

He deserves better.

•••••••

"Mam? Dinner is served." One of the maids blurted out across the room.

Ilang araw na akong nagmumukmok dito sa kwarto ko. Lumalabas lang ako kapag kumakain ng hapunan dahil umuuwi si Vladimir.

Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. Can we still make this marriage work if he finds out? I highly doubt that.

But I do not want to let go of him too.

I'm not proud of what I have done and I'm so scared to face the truth. I got so many questions in my mind and the answers are obvious but I don't want to face them yet.

Hay antanga mo talaga, Celaine.

I fixed my night gown and got up of my chair. Walang gana akong lumabas at tinungo ang dining room sa baba.

I saw Vladimir sitting at the end of the table and he immediately stood up when I entered the room. I cannot lay my eyes on him so I just sat on the chair opposite to his. Ganito ang set up namin araw-araw. I just stay in my room all day until he goes home and we'll have dinner together. Wala naman sa aming nagsasalita pawang kain lang.

Tinuon ko na lamang ang pansin ko sa paghiniwa ng ham nang napatigil ako nang bigla siyang nagsalita.

"Celaine." He said seriously that made me look at him across the table. I slightly shook my head to ask him why.

"Your...My..."

"Both of our parents are visiting next month. They want to check up on us and the company." Dagdag niya.

Oh no. My parents are coming home?

I shrugged. "And what about it?" Mataray kong sagot.

"They want to..."

"Want to what?"

"See us working in the company together."

Napatigil ako. Oo nga, may responsibilidad pa ako sa pamilya ko. I have to know how to manage a company because I'm the only one who inherits it when they decide to retire.

"Okay then. I'll start next week." I confidently said even though I am not ready. Let's see where this takes me. Sa tatlong taon ko na pagtrabaho sa kumpanya ni Tellus ay may konting kaalaman naman na ako sa pangangasiwa ng isang kumpanya. I have so much to learn I know but there are people who can help me naman.

Nang matapos kami kumain ay tumayo na ako at naglakad palabas. Narinig ko pa ang "Good night" niya ngunit hindi ko na lamang ito pinansin.

Pumunta na lamang ako sa kwarto ko at humiga na sa kama.

It's been hours since I closed my eyes and I tried to sleep but I just can't do it. Ilang araw na rin akong ganito. Hinampas ko ang kama sa inis at bumangon.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto at konti na lang ang ilaw na nakabukas sa loob ng bahay. It's already 3 in the morning. I found myself staring at Vladimir's door. Hindi ko alam kung anong naisipan ko at pumunta rito. Gustong-gusto ko siyang kausapin at hawakan pero hindi ko magawa.

I want to ask him how he is after all these years.

And did he really miss me?

Halos mapasigaw ako nang may biglang tumunog mula sa loob ng kwarto niya. Parang may nahulog. Napahawak pa ako sa dibdib ko habang bumababa sa hagdan paalis ng kwarto niya.

Imposible naman na gising pa siya sa oras na 'to. Maaga siyang umaalis ng bahay para dumiretso sa tower. May nasagi lang ata siya habang tulog.

Napagdesisyunan ko na pumunta sa garden para magpakalma ng sarili. Linibot ko ang tingin ko sa paligid at napagtanto na ang liwanag pa rin dahil sa sinag ng buwan. Kumikinang pa ang tubig mula sa fountain.

I sat on the edge of the fountain and stared at the beautiful night sky. Everything is so clear and bright.

"Trouble sleeping?"

Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko nang marinig ko ang pamilyar na boses ni Vladimir mula sa likod ko.

Hindi ko siya liningon pero nakita ko siyang lumapit at tumabi sa akin. I should be the on asking him that. Siya dapat ang tulog na ngayon.

Inalis ko ang aking tingin sa langit at itinuon iyon sa bahay. Konti na lang ang ilaw na nakabukas ngunit naaaninag pa rin nito ang gintong detalye ng gusali.

"Do you like it? I built this whole thing for you. I-I know you didn't like the architecture of our past home. You never said it but I know you hated it somehow." Saad niya.

Tama siya.

I never liked that modern-contemporary mansion.

Everything is just so minimal and modern... and I do not belong to such places. I like it grand and blinding.

Like this house.

"Why are you doing this, Vladimir? It's been three years." Naguguluhan kong tanong. I had the courage to look back at him and he was already looking into my eyes.

"Three years and it has always been you."