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"Not all the time we can carry being alone

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"Not all the time we can carry being alone. Sometimes we need someone who'll smile with us, and feel the blow of the wind with us. Someone who'll remind us that life is worth breathing for..."

***

"What do you think is the reason why a person has trauma in losing someone he love?" tanong ni Prof. Lee. At nagpaunahan nga ang mga kaklase ko sa pagsagot. Well, simple lang din naman kasi ang sagot. At kahit gustuhin ko mang tumayo at sumagot ay wala akong gana.

One of my classmates stood and answered with full certainty. "Because he suffered from the pain of losing a loved one from the past."

"Great. So, you see, everything that happened in our past affects our future.."

And my mind fell in the silence of absency as each and every sound that exists fade in the loudness of my thoughts.

I'm quiet worried about the girl. Kumusta na kaya s'ya? Tapos na kaya s'yang operahan? Is she awake now?

I don't know, but something magical happened during that night on Sunday. The night where I held her hand and accompanied her towards fighting for her life. I feel like somehow, there was an essence of my existence on that very moment.

"I don't believe in fate. I don't believe that the stars determines the course of our life. But I do believe that like the stars, we're created with a purpose. Maybe not to be the brightest star among the others in the sky, but to be the light for someone during their gloomy moments..."

It was Micco's words during that night which painted a smile on my lips. He's right. And in this life, in the darkness of this mendacious ventures I'm taking, he's my star. The one who gave me light just when I needed it.

"...and like the stars, we will perish one day. But the light that we held and shown for so long will never fade in the dusts of oblivion. We will always be remembered with the purpose we had," he added.

Nakakatawa. It's funny to think that the walls I built so hard was defeated by him during that exact moment when he freed his words of wisdom and made me feel safe in his existence.

I was taken back to the present moment when all my classmates stood up for the lunch break. Tapos na palang mag-discuss si Prof at iilang lang ang napakinggan ko.

Tumayo na ako at isinilid ang mga gamit ko sa bag saka nagsuot ng jacket bago lumabas. It's 12:30 in the afternoon but the weather is different from how it's supposed to be. It's windy and shady.

I walked across the hallways and downstairs alone and away from everyone who's making a haste in going to the canteen. Nakakadapa ang pagmamadali.

Nang makalabas na ako sa building ay napatingin ako sa kabilang building. Usually pumupunta ako roon tuwing lunch break para sunduin si Jaxen kung sakaling mas naunang matapos ang klase ko kaysa sa kan'ya. Pero dahil ito na ang ikalawang araw na absent s'ya dahil na sa ospital ang lola n'ya at walang ibang magbabantay, ay wala akong rason para pumunta roon ngayon.

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