A Fire Of Life

To my (ex)love pt2

As the seasons changed your love faded and grew colder than a winter day
It's crazy to think that 2 and a half years later this is how it ends
Not the happily ever after we used to hope for
Not married and living together but forever done 
Wasted time and long nights on the phone
Would I have done it again if I knew this was how it'd end 

I'd like to think I'd choose not to, after all you were an unhealthy addiction
Worse than Adderall, LSD or nicotine
A couple months ago I would've wished to go back and fix any errors that led to our downfall
But now.. 

I realized we would've never ending up working out, different personalities and types
You wanted someone like the girl you lost to suicide and I wanted you 
It made me feel worthless,
Unloved even, because even though you said I was good enough deep down I knew I wasnt and never would be
But I tried, god I changed so much about myself
Before you I never smoked weed, drank alcohol 
I was shy and inexperienced when it came to sex
I thought everyone was good even when they fucked me over
I gave people chances upon chances
I trust too easily

And while some of these things were that of a naïve child,
You corrupted and broke me nonetheless
I don't recognize myself now
I oversexualize myself 
I did drugs 
I drank
I don't let anyone in easily, I don't care for my body
I let people run over me 
Can you see the damage you caused?

Lately Sik World's song Don't Let Go is hitting a little hard with those first lines

"I really loved you, you really just pretended to love me back
I know I was nothing, I know I meant nothing, but there's somethin' I gotta ask
There's somethin' I gotta ask
Did you plan on hurtin' me and then leavin' me?
Honestly, what did you see in me?
I told you that you completed me, then you completely ripped every piece of me
Eatin' up every lie that you were feedin' me
Can't believe all this time you were deceivin' me
Stupid to think I could mean what you mean to me"

It really does fit like a glove, the last time we dated before this bullshit ended you faked it
A bunch of lies and manipulation
Feeling betrayed and hurt, anger and hateful

So personally fuck you and your existence
Nothing but a cheating druggie liar with a god sized ego 
I wish you the worst and all of the pain and hurt
May you never love again 
This is goodbye to the lies and love
This story of you and I
The good and the bad
The happy and the sad
So goodbye my friend ill see you in another life