Mind of the Atheist

Jehova's Witnesses

As an Atheist I really think I treat life less seriously than believers generally do. And don't get me wrong on this ; the notion that Atheists have nothing to live for is plain wrong and stupid.

No, what I meant was that I'm not as up-tight about life. And my beliefs. Yes, I write this thing where I say some serious shit about life and all but ;

But you cannot deny that compared to today's subject I'm just about as serious as North Korea's nuclear war threats. Ladies and gentlemen - Jehova's Witnesses.

Yes, we've all experienced their visits. They come to your door at an inhumane hour, try to come in and talk to you about how the tickets to heaven are running out and finally, when they see you're on the brink of bursting, they finally leave. But not without giving you their monthly mag - the Watch Tower.

Always with that smile of theirs Yes, dear heathen, you're welcome for trying to save your soul. You'll thank us later.

Now, while I do identify as an anti-theist and all - I have no problem with you believing in your personal imaginary friend. I'm OK with it, honestly.

But what I'm not OK with is you coming to my house at 7am in the morning to tell me about how this friend of yours is going to send me to hell if I don't accept him into my heart.

And then you leave me a booklet that always tries to use 'science' to prove that science is false.

So, Metal, what do you do when they come to your house?

With a heavy heart filed with shame I must confess that I don't invite them in for a pretended black mass. No.

The group that regularly copmes to my estate knows my address and that I'm a heathen. They also should know that the Tower they give me always ends in the bin because recently we had some seriously strong winds around and everyone's bins toppled over.

But no, they come, say 'hello', give me the paper and leave. Which, come to think of it, is a benefit of actually giving them your name and taking the paper once ; they no longer try to come in (at least in my case). Maybe it's because they know I won't let them in, maybe because I've a habit of listening to Black Sabbath at full volume. Either way, it's a relief.

So, what do I think of Jehova's Witnesses? I think they're annoying. And pretty ridiculus. And I wish the government would do something to actually improve my life and make some law to protect us from the bringers of the Great News.

The whole hell business sucks, I admit, but so does being woken up on a Monday morning an hour before my alarm to hear just how much it sucks.

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As usual, thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed. While my survey is now over, feel free to still send in your answers if you wish. Check out the last chapter for more info, and thanks to everyone who sent theirs in.

I am now in the process of writing my paper based on the results, and will post it here as soon as it's finishes.

Cheers, folks.