ＥＣＳＴＡＳＹ

1

March, 2021

Sometimes, I feel like my whole life is some sort of irony.

I was always the friend, who did not condone cheating; who knew all the signs of cheating and saw that their friend was being cheated on; who saw all the red flags; who would the see the manipulation from a mile away; who would fight with their friend to break up with their partner, because they were being mistreated. And here I am, doing the things I said I would never do. The irony.

I am a hypocrite.

I used to get mad when my friends wouldn't see the signs-more like didn't want to.

Now, I'm in their situation.

Tossing the few remaining clothes into the trash bag, I tie the ends of the bag together and pick it up, along with the other one. Throwing one of the bags onto my shoulders, I open the bedroom door and walk towards the front door.

After locking the door, I skip down the stairs and walk out of the building.

I walk over to the curb, where my car is parked, and open the trunk of my car to place the bags into it. Walking up to the driver's door, I open it and get into the car.

There's this buzzing in my ears. I don't hear anything except that.

I, apparently, shut my car door so loudly, that a few people looked over at me, but I don't care.

I'm so consumed by my thoughts, that I don't even check the road for any cars. I just speed out onto the road. Luckily, there weren't any cars.

The cheating seemed to be the last straw. I don't know why. Maybe, now I have an actual reason, with proof. Something, that can't be manipulated into something that it clearly isn't.

I'm so mad right now. I'm not even sad. I'm mad. At myself. For putting so much trust in him. At him. For betraying my trust.

Fifteen minutes later, I'm at my destination.

I very well know, that this shit will make him mad and cause me problems, but I'm so consumed by my rage, so I don't give a fuck anymore.

I shut off the ignition and retrieve the keys. Getting out of the car, I slam the door shut. I take out the bags from the trunk, also slamming it shut.

Fuck. I need to calm down. If I don't, I might break this car.

I let out a breath, dropping the bags onto the ground. I place my palms onto the closed trunk and lean onto it.

After a few seconds, when I feel a little less aggressive, I pick up the bags and walk over to the big trash cans.

I take off the lid and stuff the bags into the can. Reaching into my pocket, I take out my lighter. Picking up one of the twigs laying around on the ground, I lit it and throw it into the trash can.