Trails To Happiness

Clarity

"With no parents?" He asked next while his tone was falling a bit flat in the slow onset of panic.

"Correct." She replied simply.

"They gave their rights to me and my husband?" Cas asked, and he sounded purely in shock now as well. Dean still hadn't moved.

"Exactly."

Cas took a deep breath and looked at his husband who appeared to be freaking out inside his head.

"I'm going to need a minute, sorry." Castiel said and hit the mute button before she could answer him.

"You okay?" He asked as calmly as he could when he was also kind of freaking out.

Dean seemed to blink out of his daze at the sound of his husband's voice and tried his best to refocus when he was internally panicking.

"Y-yeah, I'm okay. Are you okay?" He asked in return.

"I don't know." Castiel answered honestly, still very in shock.

Dean looked back up at the opposite chair where he had been focused before, and Cas looked at the phone he was holding. They were both feeling very overwhelmed and needed a moment to think.

"What are we gonna do?" Dean asked quietly, not able to speak much louder with the lump in his throat.

He was terrified and he wasn't exactly sure why. Kids and babies had always loved him, and the feeling was generally mutual. He knew that he was good with kids and he had always hoped to be a father someday, but he couldn't seem to work past the gut-wrenching fear that had gripped him.

Castiel had much less experience with kids than Dean, who had raised Sam from infancy, but he had always wanted to start a family with Dean. Sure, this was last-minute and completely unplanned, but he was finding that the fear had melted to reveal a growing excitement.

"Are we going to go get the baby? Do you want to?" Cas asked and knocked Dean out of his stupor again.

"God, I don't know, Cas! We just got married, we're only 24, and everything is going great. We haven't even talked about kids yet, for crying out loud!" Dean whisper-yelled as the panic really started building. "Now this bombshell gets dropped, and I don't know how to feel."

Cas took Dean's hand before he could start gesturing wildly in his frenzy. He held his husband's left (and closest) hand in between both of his own, and looked up at the man he loved.

"Do you want kids?" He asked simply, making it seem like the easiest thing in the world.

"Well, yeah, but I was thinking down the road, not today." Dean reasoned.

He paused to look at his husband, who was remarkably calm all of a sudden. Dean took a deep breath and tried to calm his racing heart, knowing that in his blind panic he had been a bit selfish to his beloved.

"Do you?" He asked back with a significant amount of semi-false confidence.

"Yes." Cas answered easily and made Dean lose his breath again.

He didn't get why this was so simple for Castiel, and so frightening for him. Dean knew what he wanted and it was the same as Cas, but there was a barrier of fear that kept him from even imagining such a thing.

"How are you so calm?" The hunter asked with a touch of desperation.

"Because I know what I want and I think you do too, you're just scared." Castiel said easily and with a smile. He knew Dean like the back of his hand, just like the other knew him.

"I know, but of what?" Dean rubbed his face in frustration with his free hand.

"You know exactly what's making you afraid." Castiel said, not unkindly, and Dean hated that he was right.