Starts with a Match

Nesting but with Letters

I'm glad they're back. They went to see Maisie from May 27th to June 1st, got home last night.

Felt weird to have a house that was put together but empty at the same time. I missed the voice of someone talking nonstop about nothing in particular. I didn't get why they wanted to leave, they just saw Maisie, but...maybe it won't become a thing. Maybe they'll decide they like hanging out with me more than Maisie and Bianca.

Toby wrote me a list. I lied and said that I lost it just so they'd rewrite it. First list ended up in my sock drawer, where I've put the letters they sent me in the field.

I'm a magpie, collecting bits and pieces of them. Their handwriting. A bookmark they said they didn't need anymore—was in the bottom of a box of books. Had "T.B. Fritz" written on it, along with a mesh of doodles. Hanging plants, cactus, an attempt at I'm assuming Kimberly the chinchilla.

"Made it when I was like ten," Toby laughed, putting it in the recycling pile.

I rescued it, along with an old feather that had seen better days. It's blue, hints of green, Toby says it came from a craft set. It's fake, but that doesn't matter.

Also saved a beaded bracelet made with yarn, and a keychain with a picture of baby Toby in it with two long braids down each shoulder. Back of the keychain had a different name, but it's long been scratched over.

Big ol' gap in their smile, missing their two front teeth. Squishy cheeks, happy eyes looked just the same. They're in a frilly dress in the photo, pink collar by their shoulders. Wonder if they'd wear a dress around me. I saw that they had a few when we were unpacking.

My Toby nest in my sock drawer is safe and sound, as long as I remember to always collect my laundry off the sofa in the living room before Toby does the nice thing and puts it up for me.

They almost discovered it a couple days ago when they did the first load and I found them hanging up my jacket and pants, rolled up socks sitting on my bed, ready to be put up next.

Was weird. Seeing my PT shorts and shirts folded neatly next to Toby's tees on the sofa. Socks intermingled. Didn't know they wore boxers, too. Looked like some briefs.

Not sure what I was expecting. Not sure why watching them fold my jeans in their lap while I dusted made me feel so fluffy. Hand kept creeping up to my chest. Ended up doing the dishes instead, just to keep both hands busy.

But I got a grocery list now, and I keep getting distracted in the PX. Every swish of their 'y's, turkey and yogurt and yellow bell peppers. All I see is 'yours, Toby'.

I move on to the rest of the list, grateful it's short. We're still figuring out what we like to eat together, so I'm just picking up the things we know we both want for lone meals, like breakfasts when I'm doing PT at 05:00 or lunches if Toby's ever on their own.

Which, at the rate the last few days have been, I'm sure they will be. I've been up before them every day this week. Looking forward to the weekend already, where I can sleep in at least until 05:30.

Last weekend we had together was a blend of too much and not enough. I regret I slept through the entirety of Friday, then was a grump all Sunday. Could only manage walking at the gym, just to go home and take a nap after donuts, since my stupid ass stayed up so late reading, and I thought I could manage hitching the incline of the treadmill I was on from three to seven.

My thighs hated me for three days straight. And I haven't had time to read anymore.

But. I mean. It's Friday now. So maybe I can get a few pages in. I dunno. Unless Toby wants to go out or something. I'm sure they'd like that.