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Chapter Twelve: Love You Down

KAKUYA POV

Sooooo haha, Tupac and I have been dating for about seven months now and it's going so well. He's attentive, caring, hardworking, and we have a lot of communication between us. He's asked me to move with him to L.A. That's perfect because I just got accepted into graduate school at UCLA! I haven't told DeVante about us. We've spoken over the phone, but I don't want to tell him because I know how DeVante can get about my dating. I just don't get it! Why does he care so much? I don't frown my nose at any of the bottom shelf bitches he dates. I'm not going to tell him outright, but rather over dinner. My parents and the DeGrates have decided to throw a dinner party to celebrate the success of Jodeci's debut album. 

There was hella food! Cabbage, baked chicken, cornbread, ackee, saltfish, sweet potatoes, tilapia, short ribs, greens, macaroni and cheese, the whole nine! Tupac and I were helping set the table and sat next to each other when we heard Jodeci come in.

Mom: Hey boys!

Jodeci: Hi Mama Mandrake!

Tupac and I were fixing our plates and chatting amonst ourselves when everyone came in to join us.

DeVante: Yo Pac, what's good homie?

Tupac: What's up King Swing? How ya doin, money?

DeVante: Good good, always hungry huh, nigga?

Tupac: Yeah, you know my lady here can keep a brotha fed, nah mean?

DeVante: Ya lady? Who you talking about? K.O.?

Tupac: Yeah, she ain't tell you?

He glared at me....oh shit. There was this awkward ass silence as everyone ate. Dalvin looked embarrassed, K-Ci was eating all the greens, JoJo was trying to make side conversation with Dad, and here I was in the middle of a situation I couldn't wiggle my way out of. 

DeVante: Nah, she was probably busy with all her other stuff. Plus, I've uh, been out the loop for the past seven months. I'm just now hearing of it.

Me: Yeah, DeVante's too busy for me, Pac. 

Tupac: Well, we've been doing great.

Me: Yeah. That's right baby. I wanted to tell you this in person because I don't know when I will see you again...

DeVante: Tell me what?

He ate some cabbage and listened to me. 

Me: Since Pac is recording his material in Los Angeles and I have a fellowship to do down there, we're moving to L.A.together in our very own place!

He choked! Mama DeGrate and K-Ci helped him pull it together. Dalvin was snickering under his breath, trying not to laugh. Jackass! I kicked him under the table.

Dalvin: AAAUHG!!! DAMNIT MAN!

Mama DeGrate: Watch your mouth, boy!

Tupac: Yo, did I say something wrong, man? My bad, man.

Me: No no, DeVante was caught off guard! Nothing you did, babe. Mom, I'm going to excuse myself for a while. I'll be back everyone.

I sighed, fake smiled and went into the upstairs bathroom! I know I said I didn't care about what DeVante thought about me and Pac, but deep down I do. It's like I don't want to lose my friendship with him, but I want to be with Tupac too. My heart raced, traces of sweat went down my face, and I was sweating like a Hebrew slave under my arms! My nerves went from 0-100 when I heard knocking on the door...my eyes went wide when I saw the doorknob shaking. 

Me: ALRIGHT!

I slowly opened the door and saw DeVante. I tried closing it but he pushed it open, locked the door and put his hand over my mouth to shush me. 

Me (muffled): WHAT THE FUCK? NIGGA!!! UGH! AAAAH!

I calmed down and he let go.

DeVante: You lied to me!

Me: I didn't!

DeVante: How could you keep that from me? 

Me: Because you act like this!

DeVante: I wouldn't have to if you were honest with me. You're my best friend, I want to see you happy. 

Me: No, you don't want me to go where you can't snoop on me!

DeVante: Partially, but I worry about you. Did you forget about what happened to you and how powerless I was to help? I want to be there for you, and I can't do that in L.A.!

Me: I didn't ask you to! Pac won't hurt me! He's sensetive, loving, kind, protective and loyal. I need that stability. Who else could do that for me right now? Hmmm?

He fell silent. I cupped his face in my hands and laughed. 

Me: Tell me what's going on....

DEVANTE POV

Tell you what's going on? Damnit, if she only knew the truth! Talking about the truth? Oh I'll tell you! ...Just not today. 

I love you! I've been in love with you since we were babies. From the moment I saw you, I knew that nobody else would be able to have my heart. I can't stand seeing you with other guys; touching you, kissing and feeling on your body. You know damn well they don't know you the way I do, they wish they did but they don't. I DO!!! You're the best thing I've ever known. When I wake up, I want you next to me. When I feel down, you're the only one who can reach to the core of my soul  and see me for all that I am. I want to love you for life, I can't sleep, think, drink, dream, or breathe without knowing you're alright. You should have been my first, my last, and my only. Dyana should have come for our love. My love and your love is something I'll never let go of. 

I live, but your love is why I live.

Me: No. I'm cool. I promise, I'm just tripping, baby girl. I'm happy for you, I am! 

That's what I wanted to tell her. I can't! It'll ruin everything we've gone through to get to this place. I'm a betting man, but this isn't a gamble I can do. I can't and I never will. I'll just sit back and wonder on what might have been,

If there was an award for the Dumbest Mufucka Alive, I bet you I'd win it with no hesitation.

DAMN MAN!!!