Mr Brightside || Danny Gonzalez x Drew Gooden

chapter seventeen // filled with cobwebs

Danny shuts the book, a million memories dancing in his mind. He too stored everything that happened with Drew in the back of his mind. Sometimes he would go back to them, imagine what it could have been like if they let anything more happen to them. But slowly the memories became blurry, and it got harder and harder to imagine. But now, he felt like he had just relived the entire experience once again, the memories fresh in his head.

He hears the front door lock turn and sees Laura walk through the door, she is already back from work. What time is it? He hasn't been great with keeping track of the date and time, it is easier to pretend that that doesn't exist. He jumps up and runs into her arms, she is taken aback and then hugs him back. Suddenly he feels a lump in his throat, and a series of tears start to roll down his face.

And finally, he cries.

He pulls her in tighter, sobbing loudly into her shoulder, unable to breathe, his mind filled with cobwebs.

"I miss Drew." He manages to make out throughout his gasps for air, Laura doesn't say anything but just holds him, stroking his hair. And that's all he wanted, he just wanted to be held while he empties himself out, he wanted someone to listen to him and Laura gave him all of that. But what she couldn't give him was what he wanted most. Drew.

He really just wanted to laugh until he couldn't breathe, he wanted to see him flash his goofy smile, And hold him like there was nobody else in the world. He wanted him to comfort him when he felt afraid, to lace his fingers in his, to dance on the balcony, to get drunk on the tour bus, and most of all, he wanted to kiss him.

He wanted to kiss him until he couldn't anymore, he wanted to close whatever gap had ever formed between them. But he can't, he never will, never again.

Danny felt lighter after crying, he finally showered, he changed out of the clothes he had been wearing for weeks, he ate a proper meal. And finally, he accepted Drew's death, and he never would have thought that Drew himself would have been the one to allow him to do that. Although nothing ever fully got better, it did get easier. And for the first time, he was ok.