Mr Brightside || Danny Gonzalez x Drew Gooden

chapter four // electric

September 13th, 2019

Quick update: So this morning Kurtis desperately tried to make coffee with the coffee machine in the bus but failed as it malfunctioned and I have realized that Kurtis cannot get through the day without coffee as he made us take a detour to pick up some.

Hey it is Danny in here right now and Drew's asleep in the bunk beds cuz we are in the tour bus and he wanted to take a nap before the show tonight. Anyways I'm showing Kurtis some magic tricks cuz it turns out that we both wanted to be magicians when we were younger and Kurtis seems to have given up on his childhood dreams. He's like really impressed by my sick-ass card tricks but I ran out of tricks to perform so we are playing trumps.

It's Drew again, I really need to hide my notebook now, Danny and Kurtis keep getting to it. Anyways I have put on my jacket because the show starts in forty-five minutes, we were just having snacks but I physically cannot eat I'm so nervous, (like I am before each show). I don't understand how calm Kurtis is before every show, I mean I guess he has done stand-up before but I think that no matter how many times I perform stand-up, I will still be nervous as fuck before the show. Anyways we are heading inside the venue so we can get the mics working and get run all the basic shit through with our producers.

Ok hey, I don't know what really just happened. So I was shaking slightly because I was nervous as Kurtis was just about to finish his set which meant me and Danny were about to head on stage. So I guess Danny must have noticed me shaking and he held my hand but only lightly. I wouldn't have thought it was anything if he hadn't grazed his thumb over my knuckles. It was overly affectionate for just a comforting handhold as friends, It was similar to how I would hold hands with my wife, it felt wrong but it did help. His hands were warm and gentle, it made my head go all fuzzy and suddenly I wasn't nervous about going on stage anymore, my thoughts were now focused on Danny's soft hand in mine.

I had never really thought about Danny in any other way than just my best friend, the feelings that were rushing through me felt electric. I felt so many conflicting emotions at the same time that I almost forgot to run on stage at my cue. Maybe I'm just overthinking the whole situation but I don't know man. It's all I can think about.

Danny fell asleep almost straight away when we got back, it was unusual for him as he is often one of the last ones to go to sleep but he seemed absolutely exhausted. Kurtis is having a shower and I just finished FaceTiming Amanda. I felt the need to after what happened between me and Danny, not much seemed to have been going on at home, the biggest news are that we finally got the TV fixed after it was broken for like months. She also told me that Bimbim is missing me and is meowing at my office door wondering where I am which made me much sadder than it should've.

Although I was happy to talk to Amanda again, I felt a tiny shimmer of guilt rise in my stomach so sudden and quick but I don't exactly understand why though, he was just comforting me. Right?