He Adore Her From Afar (On Hiatus)

Chapter 30

I'm here in front of Freya's house. Isang gabi ko rin itong pinag-isipan kung pupuntahan ko ba siya or hindi. But I'm here, susuyuin ko siya hanggang sa mapatawad niya ako for the sake of our friendship. Hindi ako makatulog ng maayos dahil sa mga nangyari and it was really a nightmare for me that day it happened. At pinagsisisihan ko ang bagay na ginawa ko, dahil iyon ang naging rason kung bakit kami humantong sa ganito.

I took a deep breath before I walked towards the gate. Pinindot ko ang doorbell. Ramdam ko ang pawis sa palad ko at pagkabog ng dibdib ko ng mabilis. I hope that Freya will talk to me. I need to talk to her to explain everything what was really the reason why I cope up with that situation.

Bumukas ang gate at iniluwa doon ang babaeng kahapon ko pa hinahanap. She knitted her eyebrows when she looked at me. Mukhang ayaw niya pa rin akong makausap. Isasarado na niya sana ang gate ng harangan ko ito ng mismong katawan ko. Masakit pero binalewala ko lang dahil kailangan kong makausap si Freya.

    "Freya, wait!" I groaned in pain. Napansin niya siguro na nasasaktan ako kaya niluwagan niya. "Please, let's talk. Talk to me, Faye." I pleaded. Tears burned my eyes and my lower lip trembled. I'm crying, but I tried not to break down in front of her.

I heard her sigh. "Hera, not now." I can feel the hatred in those words.

Ang sakit, sobra. I want to hug her because I miss her so damn much. Ayaw ko na ganito kami.

    "No please, please, please, please." I begged. "Listen to me please and let me explain," nagmamakaawa akong tumingin sa mga mata niya. "Kahit sandali lang naman oh." My stored tears continued to flow and the sobs wracked my body, robbing it of the ability to speak.

Kahit ilang beses pa akong magmamakaawa sa kanya ay gagawin ko. I don't like us being like this. I bowed my head, my eyes were filling with tears and I didn't want her to see. Ayaw kong kaawaan niya ako dahil sa nakikita niya akong umiiyak. I want her to talk to me because she want it. And I'm hoping that she will talk to me. We can't go on like this, magkaaway at hindi nagpapansinan hanggang sa unti-unti siyang lalayo sa akin.

    "Hera," she paused. Ilang segundo rin siyang tumahimik until I heard her voice again, talking to me. I looked up to faced her. "I don't hate you," the sincerity in her voice brought tears to her eyes. "I can't hate you and you know that. I was just," The tears continued to seep down Freya's cheeks but she didn't sob. "I just hate the things that you did. For using Locklan just to get your ideal man?" She scoffs. "I don't know what were you thinking Hera, but I can't accept the fact that you used the guy whom love you the most. Why?"

She shook her head, wiping the tears from her face with the back of her hand. Parehas na kaming parang tanga na umiiyak sa harapan ng bahay nila. Nandito pa rin kami sa mismong gate nag-uusap, and this is not the right place for us to talk.

I also wiped my tears from my face. "Let's not talk about it here. Pwede bang mag-usap tayo sa tambayan natin?" She just looked at me. "Please, Faye?" I whispered softly.

Umu-o siya kaya kahit papaano ay napangiti ako. Sinara niya ang gate at sabay kaming naglakad papunta sa playground kung saan kami tumatambay dati. Walang nagsasalita sa pagitan naming dalawa. Tahimik kaming naglalakad habang nakatingin sa harap.

Iniisip ko kung paano ko uumpisahan ang lahat. Paano ko ipapaliwanang sa kanya sa paraan na maintindihan niya kahit papaano kung bakit ko nagawa ang bagay na iyon. Pero kahit saang anggulo ko pa simulan, mali pa rin talaga ang ginawa ko, maling-mali. Wala akong nakikitang tama na pwede kong kapitan para mabawasan ang galit sa akin ni Freya at ni Lock. Wala, walang-wala.

I suddenly hear a whisper in my ear, bringing me back to reality. "We can stop here, or should we go to in different place?" I almost jump from what she did.