Would Anyone Care?

Thirteen

The last week of November comes around way too quick, everyone at school is looking forward to December because it means the Christmas holidays are nearly there, but the closer it has gotten the more my dread has built, to the point I am really struggling to get out of bed and force myself through another twenty four hours everyday. I can't explain why and I feel almost guilty for thinking it, but I just have this feeling in my gut that my mum isnt going to survive the operation. I have had it since I first read the letter, and I detest myself for even contemplating the thought.Thursday morning I go down for breakfast in my usual rush that I am in every morning recently, since the attack by Adam, I haven't taken the cemetery path, I have been taking the longer High Street route, I just haven't been able to face that journey down that secluded path.

Mum is sitting at the kitchen table, as I am in a rush I just put two weetabix into a bowl add some milk and carry it over to the table.
"How are you feeling today mum" I ask her as my dad rushes into the kitchen grabbing his keys off the side. Before kissing the top of my head and kissing my mum on the lips.
"See you girls later, I'm late" he said running out the door.
"I am ok sweetheart" she replies as she smiles after dad. "How are you coping with everything?" She asks
"I'm OK." I say.
"Liar" she says with a smile. "I am going to be ok you know."
"I know you are" I say with a smile back. "Hey, are you up to going out for lunch on Saturday? Just you and me?" I ask her. She beams at me as she says
"I would like that very very much darling"
"Me too" I say "somewhere posh, dad can pay." I say making her chuckle.
"Deal, I am sure I can swing that with him" she gives me a wink. I finish my breakfast and rush upstairs to finish getting ready for school.

As I walk to school I think about lunch on Saturday, I have had it on my mind for a couple of weeks. I want to tell my mum about my sexuality, it is something about me that I just want her to know. It is so important to me that she knows that part of me. Especially if the worse was to happen, to lose mum and have her not know that about me for some reason terrifies me. I get up to tutor and Skye is surprisingly already there, sitting alone.
"Hey babe" I say as I sit down "the procedure was a success then?" I ask.
She smiles her beautiful smile at me then asks "procedure?"
"Yeah to have you and Dean surgically removed from each other" I say in a mocking tone, giving her a little wink.
She bursts out laughing, which makes me smile a lot. She has the cutest laugh, it makes her nose wrinkle and really shows off her little dimples at the side of her mouth.
"Cheeky bitch, is it a crime to want to spend some time with my bestie?" She says back. "I feel like I haven't been the best friend last couple weeks. And just wanted you to know that I am here for you." She says with such sincerety it melts me.
"Aww, thank you beautiful. But I have told you before I don't expect you to have to be there for me 24/7."
"I know, but feel like I been a selfish bitch recently." She adds
"Not at all babe, I promise you I understand ok?" I say looking into her beautiful blue eyes.
"OK, well I am here now. So do you fancy hanging out Saturday? Dean wants to go bowling and I kinda wanted to see you, so thought he could bring a friend?" She asks, a cheeky glint in her eye.
"Ah I can't Skye sorry, am going out for lunch with mum. Bit of mother daughter time ya know?" I say, secretly glad that I did genuinely have a pre prepared excuse to get out of Skyes obviously efforts to matchmake me.

"Ah that will be nice babe." She says. "Guess it will have to be just me and Dean then" she says with a smirk.
"Ah, you poor thing!" I tease back.
"How is loverboy anyway? Things still good between you?" I ask, secretly thinking that I don't want her to say they are great.
"They are great babe." She replies making me chuckle in my head.
"He is really making an effort to make me feel special, you know?"
"Not really" I say laughing.
"Awww babe, it will happen for you too, I mean you're amazing and look at you. You're gorgeous, you just got to put yourself out there more."
"Yeah maybe, to be honest it last thing on my mind right now" I say gloomily.
"I know babe, but it won't always feel like that, I mean there must be some boy in this school you like?" She asks.
"I can honestly say babe, there isn't at all"
"Ah, you super picky then?" She says as she nudges my shoulder with hers.
" Yeah I guess I am" I say as I spend way too long looking at her beautiful perfectly formed jaw line, her glossy hair, and those lips that just drive me cray. I feel as though she catches me looking, our eyes meet for the briefest of moments before I turn to face the front just as Mr Nunn walks in.

I am sitting eating my lunch in the cafeteria as the bitch clique comes over and takes the table next to me, talking very loudly which I am sure is for my benefit.
"Yeah Adam says their house is a right dive." Ruby says, I can feel her eyes on me and I just try to ignore it, anger and shame build in me, I am staring straight ahead at the cafeteria doors, praying Skye walks through them. Ruby has definitely acted a little differently around Skye since she warned her off.
"He says her mum is really ill too" she adds and I fight with all my will to stop myself from welling up.
"Ruby, please dont" I hear a familiar voice say
"Hey you don't like what is said at this table babe, you're free to go over sit with fish eyes." Ruby snaps back, I take a look over at them from the corner of my eye.
"I just think there things that shouldn't be said" Amy says as she lowers her head and starts eating her sandwich.
"Well keep you pathetic thoughts to yourself in future babe" Ruby tells her with her usual spite. Chloe taking delight in Amy getting a dressing down from Ruby. For the briefest moment I feel gratitude towards Amy, a tiny glimpse of my old friend came out. But I also can't help joining Chloe in in the delight as well.
"Probably why she was so into Adam, hoping to get invited round to his for a decent meal, that didn't come out of the dustbin, she was all over him at my party that time the little tramp"
All the girls around the table start giggling, and just then my heart sinks and soars in a matter of milliseconds, as I see Skye walking over to me with Dean.

As she gets closer Skye fixes Ruby with a stare only she can get away with, it's little things like that, that make me love her even more. The way she just stands out from the crowd. She then beams at me and says loudly
"Hello gorgeous"
"Hey you two" I reply
"Alright peanut?" Dean adds, this weird name he has decided to start calling me. As much as I don't want to, I really can't help liking Dean, he is one of the most popular lads in our year, but he is never nasty to anyone, never thinks he is better than anyone. He is obviously a good looking lad, but he has a warm personality too. The phrase the complete package is definately one that describes him and Skye.
"You ok babe?" Skye says as she downs next to me looking over at the other table straight away. Ruby doesn't say a word ad immediately the decibel level from their table drops.
"Yeah I am ok" I look over at Ruby as I say it.
"How's your mum doing Luce?" Dean asks
"She is ok thanks, as well as she can be. She has her op next Wednesday." I tell him.
"Take it you're not gonna be in that day?" Skye asks
"Dad says I should, that it will take my mind off of it. But no fucking way! I am gonna be stressed enough."
Yeah, I get that babe." She responds.
"Maybe we should all blow off, we can come sit with you if you like?" Dean says as he grabs a chip off my plate. There he goes again, being all nice and likable. I think to myself.
"That's a great idea!" Skye says.
"No it's not!" I say a little more forcefully than I mean. "I really appreciate it though" I add "but I don't want either of you getting in trouble, I have an excuse not to come in. Skye your mum would freak!"
"Yeah you're probably right babe, but if it gets too much that day, you make sure you text me ok? I will make an excuse and leave in middle of lesson if I have to!" She says as she grabs a chip too.
"Will you two vultures go get your own food?" I say laughing.
"Yeah I'm gonna, those chips are mint" dean says as he gets up. "You want any babe?" He asks Skye.
"Nah, I will just nick yours and Lucy's" she smirks.

"Lucy" Skye whispers, lowering her head into me.
"What babe?" I say.
"I think maybe it's time" she says as she blushes a little.
"Time? Time for what?" I say back
"You know, with Dean." She giggles embarrassingly.
I look over at Dean, wondering for a minute what she means, then it dawns on me.
"Ohhh, I assumed maybe you guys already have?"
"No not yet, we have done things, he has you know....fingered me, and I gave him head last weekend. That's as far as it has gone though." She says timidly.
"Have you ever?" I ask
"Only once, with my ex. We kinda split when mum moved us here. We had been going out for a year, and I wanted to once before we moved" she tells me.
"Ahh ok, well if you feel it's the right time, then that's your call. As long as you are ready babe" I tell her, having a weird mix of sensations, I am jealous of course, but I am also a little turned on by the idea of Skye having sex. "It is what you want right?" I ask
"Oh yeah, we haven't even discussed going all the way. I promise Dean isn't pressuring me, he doesn't even know I want to yet."
"Well if it is truly what you want and you feel ready, why not?" I tell her reassuringly "just make sure you give me all the deets." I say laughing.
"Oh I will. Now shush he is coming"
"He will be" I add. Sending us both into fits of laughter as he sits back down.