Would Anyone Care?

Five

I sit through social science alone, I keep looking at the door hoping Skye will come through but she doesn't. Where could she of got to? She can't still be getting a rollicking from Mr Edwards?
"Psst, frog breath........." I roll my eyes doing my best to ignore Adam. "Oi slut, don't ignore me" he whispers across the table. I stare straight ahead trying my best to block him out.
"I'm gonna fuck you up, after school, very soon. You're arse is mine ackbar!" My chest tightens, panic washing over me.
"Think your whore friend can do that to my girlfriend and get away with it?" He continues, I can feel the tears welling up, I can't help but take a sideways glance at him. He is smiling at me as he says "Yeah bitch, your fish face is gonna get slapped up, you filthy little slut" tears run down my cheeks as I look at the clock. Only five more minutes of this. Wiping my tears away before Miss Andrews sees.

At break I find Skye coming down from the office.
"Hey you, what happened?" I ask as I walk upto her
"Ah nothing too much, given a warning about my future conduct and he rang mum to tell her what had happened" she says very casually.
"Please Skye you have to lay off Ruby, just ignore her"
"How long has all this been going on Lucy?"
"What do you mean?" I look to the floor.
"You know what I mean babe, her giving you shit?"
"It started in year 9. Honestly please just ignore it." I look her in the eyes, those beautiful mesmerising eyes. It is so easy to get lost in them. They sparkle like the clearest ocean on a summers day. Pulling myself quickly out of my funk, I smile.
"Skye, it's no biggie. The more you react the more she is going to do it."
I can feel her trying to gauge how much I am saying I actually feel. So I try to relax my shoulders a little and give her a casual smile.
"I am honestly just glad you got off with a warning" I tell her.
"Yeah well Gary knows my mum, they went to uni together. And trust me, I havent got off with anything." It take me a minute to register who Gary is but then it dawns, Gary Edwards.
"Ahh is your mum going to flip?"
"She will not be happy, but hopefully she will see I was only sticking up for a friend" she casually says as we head on out to the football pen.
"I hope so too. And I do appreciate you doing it, but please let it be." I say.
She looks me over obviously assessing wether she is going to agree to my request.
"Okay, no worries" she finally decides "so did she do or say anything after?"
"Nah, nothing." I lie. As we walk out the doors into the bright September sun.

We spend the rest of break chatting and watching the boys play football. Well Skye is watching Dean, thinking I haven't noticed her do so with a look of infatuation in her eyes, and I am watching Skye, with that same look I am sure. The way the late summer sun shimmers off of her hair is glorious, even from my profile view of her face I can see the faintest glimps of that beautiful smile. Her soft beautiful lips, I can't help but wonder what they would feel like. My tummy feels like it is alive, I have the deepest warmest feeling. I force myself to look away before she sees me gawping at her, like a loon.

Then I see something that takes all of my joy away in an instant, as quick as switching a light off. Across from us at the far end of the field I see Ruby and her gang of hanger ons, she is with Adam and they are both looking directly at me. Ruby giggling as she whispers into Adams ear, he has that same smile on his face that he did in social science, as he looks at me menacingly. I can feel my heart rate quicken, feel the sheer panic as my stomache feels like someone has pulled a lever and it has plummeted down a trap door. I hate that they have this effect on me, the ability to effect every muscle in my body. To make me feel so week, so lonely, so inadequate. I can feel more tears building as I try to look away. I lean down opening my bag, pretending I am looking for something, anything. Just giving me a few seconds to compose myself.

Just then I feel a hard whack on the side of my head, knocking me off balance and onto my arse. Followed by a lot of laughing and cries of "look out fish eyes" "nice head ackbar" "you could go pro frog face"
"Shit babe, you ok?" Skye reaches down pulling me to my feet. Just as Dean comes jogging over to retrieve the ball that just floored me.
"Sorry Lucy, my bad. Are you 'right?" He asks, with genuine concern.
"Yeah, I'll live" I tell him giving him a little smile.
He looks straight over to Skye, which isn't a surprise to me, I have noticed in the day and half I have known her, everyone looks straight over at Skye. They lock eyes for the briefest of moments, he gives her a smile that even I can see is attractive, as he turns to get back to his game he stops.
"Lucy, don't listen to all this lot ok. They're tossers, virgins most of em with tiny dicks." With that he gives me a little smile and he runs off. And I find myself thinking that I approve of Dean, he really is a nice lad. We walk back into the building to get ready for the next class, I have French and Skye has Spanish so we go our seperate ways, me rubbing my head most of the way.

As we file into class I hear Ruby from behind me "Enjoy your walk home today bitch." I really dont know how much more of this I can take, I feel sick with anxiety. I take a seat at the front, knowing that way I will not be able to see Ruby giving me the looks I know she inevitably will, and also I can make a quick exit at the end of class. Settling down I just face forward and try to concentrate on the lesson. Although very little registers. I know Adam lives not to far from me. Couple roads further along Church Way so I am guessing he is planning on honouring his promise from earlier.

I spend the rest of the day in a worried mess. I am trying to think of ways out of this? I could just text mum, ask her to pick me up. But she is gonna want to know why? I could stay late after school, spend some time in the library do some homework. But then so could Adam! And then there would be less people around when I leave. At least if I leave on time, there will be crowds, other kids walking the same way. For at least half the way, I can then take the long way round. Down the High Street. Even Adam isn't stupid enough to do anything there. All of a sudden I hear my name being whispered.
"Luce, anyone home babe?"
I turn my head and Skye is smirking at me, "I actually thought you fallen asleep on me there babe"
I chuckle trying to suppress my fear.
"Sorry, was in a world of my own there" I reply
"Oviously, there is only 5 mins left, can't wait to get out of here huh?' She sighs as she starts to gather her pens and get them packed up.
"Yeah! tell me about it." I reply,trying to hide my terror at school finishing, giving the clock a nervous look. Suddenly the bell is going over the tanoy. I grab my bag and head off out as quick as possible, Skye trying desperately to catch up through the crowds. My eyes darting in all directions looking for my would be attacker. As we reach the the school gates the hordes of students thins a little. And Skye says her goodbyes. No admiring glances made by me this time. I turn and walk fast.

Fear gripping me every step I take, too afraid to look behind me but knowing I have to. Glancing behind me quickly as I hit the main road, not recognising any face I have a choice now, to take the main road, or cut down the side of the cemetery, and take my usual route, its a secluded path but will save me 20 mins. I tell myself I am being a paranoid bitch. He isn't behind me, I can't live every second of my life in fear. I take a left and head towards the cemetery, as I hit the path I can feel my anxiety getting higher, my mouth dry, my breathing speeding up. I put my head down, wondering if I could out run him if I needed to. Telling myself how stupid I am, I try to concentrate on other things, thinking about what I am going to cook for dinner, maybe chicken parmesan, it is one of mum's favourites. Thinking about food eases my worries, I find myself relaxing. My pace becomes more regular, I am half way along the path and when I reach the end of it I will be just 2 mins from my house. Breath Lucy Breath.

Then I hear it, the tell tale crunch behind me of footsteps on the gravel path. My heart races, I start to walk faster, my own footsteps in the gravel making too much noise for me to tell if the person behind me has upped their pace too. I dont care I just got to reach the end of this path, I walk even faster not wanting to run, too afraid to run. Maybe another 20 yards left I start to get faster I can't hear anyone behind me but doest mean he isn't there. 10 yards, getting into a jog now am struggling to Breath I am panicking so much. 5 yards, I can't help it I have to look, I have to know if he is there. Risking a glance over my shoulder, I slow down as I realise the path behind me is empty....... stupid twat! There is no one there, relief swamps over me, I have worked myself up for nothing, the pure fear I have of Adam making me hear things that just wasn't there, as I turn to carry on my journey I can't help but let out a scream, as a lad on a bike comes flying round the corner scaring the life out of me. As he races down the path in the opposite direction, the tears come again. I can't even escape this outside of school. I dont have any safe place anymore, apart from the four walls of my bedroom. As I walk the last couple of minutes home I try to compose myself. I can't let mum see the state I am in. I just can't, not with what she is dealing with at the minute. I have never felt as alone as I do right at that moment.