Would Anyone Care?

Four

The next morning the whole house somehow feels different, as I sit eating my breakfast, studying my mum sitting across from me. She looks pale and drawn, a vacant look in her eyes. All her usual sparkle seems to have disappeared. She looks over at me, and immediately puts a smile on her face, trying to mask her pain from me.
"I have an idea, why don't you invite Amy round for dinner this week?" She says "you two barely saw one another during the holidays, would be nice to see her!"
"I'll ask her" I lie. "Is dad going back to work today?" Trying to change the subject.
"Yeah he is" she says as she takes a sip of her coffee.
Finishing my toast, watching mum deep in her thoughts, wishing I could take away all her fears, somehow make everything ok. I know I am going to have to be strong, for mums sake. She is going to need every ounce of strength she has to fight this. So she can't know the troubles I am going through, how much I dread going to school, how I fall to sleep every night praying I don't wake up in the morning. So that I don't have to deal with whatever shit Ruby has in store for me!

"It's going to be ok mum" I tell her as I reach over grab her hand. She just completely breaks in front of my eyes, in a way I have never seen her do before. Uncontrollable sobs rack her body as she holds her head in her hands. I rush around the table, wrapping my arms around her, holding her. Tears streaming down my face as I hold my mum in my arms telling her over and over it will be ok. Trying to convince myself as much as I am her.
"I love you sweetheart, so very very much" she says through her sobs.
"I love you too mum." Squeezing her, holding her so tight.
"You need to get to school missy"
"I can stay home if you would prefer?" Trying to not feel guilty as I find myself praying she says yes.
"No. You need to go. It is important"
"Are you sure you're going to be ok?" I ask
She pulls out of my arms, puts her hand on my cheeks and wipes my tears away with her thumb. Nodding and smiling she says "I'm going to be fine, I have you dont I?" Pulling me in she kisses my forehead as she gets up and takes our cups and plates over to the dishwasher.
"Now get your butt upstairs and finish getting ready for school young lady"
"Yes ma'am" I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes and making my way up to my bedroom to finish getting ready for school, fifteen minute later I am saying goodbye and leaving the house.

I walk into tutor group and immediately feel Ruby's death stare. Feeling way too emotional to deal with any sort of confrontation I look away, towards the back of the room, where Skye is beaming at me, I give a little half smile as I walk over to her and take my seat.
"Wow that bitch really doesn't like you, does she?" She says as I put my bag under my seat. I look up towards where Ruby is sitting, staring back at me. Talking into Amy's ear. I shrug as I say " urgh noticed have you?"
"Hey, is everything OK babe?"
"AH, yeah just ignore me, bad morning. Anyway, what are you looking so happy about?"
"I don't know what youre talking about!" She says, with a smug satisfied smile on your face.
"Whatever, you can't stop smiling. Look at you!"
She giggles a little and then says
" Well I may have got myself a kinda date on Saturday!" She says very excitedly. It takes me a couple of seconds to register what she is saying but when I do, I feel a slight tightening in the middle of my torso, not quite in my chest or stomach, but somewhere in between.
"Oh really? That's awesome!" I say with as much enthusiasm as I can muster "who with?" Although I already knew.
"Dean, we swapped numbers after art class. I didnt expect to hear from him straight away but he massaged me yesterday when I got home, we were chatting all evening."
"And you have got yourself a date already? That's amazing!"
"You think so?" She says with a little smirk.
"Yeah of course, Dean is really nice babe"
I spend the rest of tutor listening to all the things she spoke about with Dean. I have only known her 24 hours but I can tell she is smitten. Just her body language whenever she mentions him. A little look down at her hands, a smile as she brushes her hair behind her ear. I am happy for her, but seeing her like this, it only reminds me of how far away I am from happiness like that.

We are only quiet briefly as the register is taken, then it is straight back to talking as she asks me if I have any plans this weekend.
"No, none at all really" as I say that I can't help looking up at where Amy is sitting, I am sure if I could take this moment two years into the past my answer would of been totally different. I would probably have at least one full day planned where me and Amy would be out doing something, or at least at one of our houses hanging out. But I haven't had a weekend like that for a long time.
"Well how about we hang out on Sunday? If you want to?" She asks.
"As long as you're not going to be spending the whole day talking about lover boy!" I say with a little wink and a smirk.
"Aww babe, don't be jel! Maybe he has a cute friend?" She says laughing, as the bell goes for class, I get up thinking to myself "be better if he has a cute sister."

We are still laughing and joking as we head out of the classroom only to find Ruby blocking our exit, her little gang standing behind her.
"Hey Skye, lemme give ya some free advice, be careful who you hang around with round here. You seem nice" at that point she turns and leers at me, looks me up and down and says "if you hang around dogs, you're gonna catch fleas you know!"
I dont know how it happened, it was all so quick. But the next thing I knew Skye had Ruby pinned up against the door. Hand grabbing Ruby's tie twisting it making in tight round her neck.
"Let me give you a free piece of advice, never bad mouth my friends in front of me, and never try to block my way again! You nasty little cunt!"
"SKYE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" It was Mr Edwards our head of year. "Come with me now!" He marches past us all and into our tutor room as Skye follows him in he slams the door behind them.Ruby stands there shaking with either fear or anger and I don't want to find out which. I try to get out of there as quickly as possible, as I turn and head for the stairs, I feel something kick at the back of my ankles, and two palms push me between the shoulder blades. I go flying forward, arms outstretched to break my fall. Crashing to the floor my bag flying out my hand and across the floor. I hear Ruby say as she walks off "you're gonna pay for your girlfriend trying to be a hero bitch!" As I get myself up, my palms stinging from hitting the solid floor. I watch as they walk off down the stairs tears building in my eyes.

Fear immediately consumes me "girlfriend" she didn't say friend or Skye, she said girlfriend. Does Ruby know? The only way she could know is through Amy, but surely Amy wouldn't of said anything? I know we are not exactly talking but she knows what that could do to me. I won't believe she could be that nasty, not after all the years we have been friends. If Ruby knows she won't keep that to herself for very long, and then Skye will find out, what will she think? My fear turns to full blown panic! Not knowing what to do I head of for first period.