VS3: Kenry Zoleigh Vergara (BxB) (On-Going)

20

Apollo Simon Delgado

"May malapit na parke rito. Gabi gabi ay may tumutugtog na banda roon." Si Manong. Cap and I are currentlt doing the dishes habang si Manong ay nakaupo at pinapanood kami. "Hindi naman magiging mahirap ang pagpunta niyo roon kung napagdesisyonan niyo mang pumunta. Hindi ko kayo masasamahan dahil kailangang maaga ako sa pangingisda bukas."

"Magpahinga na po kayo Manong." Pangungumbinsi ko sa kaniya ng lingunin ko siya.

"O, siya sige mga ijo." Tumayo na siya sa pagkakaupo at may binunot na kung ano sa bulsa niya. "Ito ang susi ng bahay, ilock niya na lang ang pinto kung sakali mang aalis kayo." Ibinaba niya sa lamesa ang susi bago na umalis at nagpaalam na magtutulog na.

Hindi naman kami natagalan ni Cap sa paghuhugas ng mga pinggan, natapos rin kaming agad kaya sabay kaming nagtungo sa kuwarto.

Nagtungo kami sa magkabilang side ng kama at naupo roon, magkatalikod kami at hampos lang ng alon sa dalampasigan ang maririnig.

Luminga linga na lang ako para maghanap sa kuwarto ng puwedeng gawin ng may makaagaw ng atensyon ko sa ilalim ng kama. Yumuko ako para kunin 'yon. It was a graduation picture frame.

Si Manong Kaloy and he was with a little boy. Pareho silang ngiting ngiti sa camera. Nakasuot ng toga 'yong bata. Judging from the picture, batang bata pa si Manong Kaloy rito at 'yong bata mukhang kakagraduate lang ng kinder.

"What's that?" Narinig ko si Cap kaya hinarap ko siya at inabot sa kaniya ang picture frame.

"Do you think they left him here?" I asked with so much confusion in my voice.

At some point I feel bad for Manong. Kung totoo man ang iniisip kong iniwan nila siya, imagine the past few years that he was spending here alone. Hindi ko rin mapigilang hindi mainis sa sarili ko dahil pinag-isipan ko siya ng masama kanina e sobrang bait niya.

"I'm also scared of being left alone." Saad ko sa mahinang boses ng walang makuhang sagot kay Cap.

"Why?" I heard him asked me, still looking at the frame.

"It looks devastating and depressing." I answered his question honestly. That's how I see the idea of being alone.

Being alone for me means darkness. Wala kang ibang makikita kundi dilim, mawawala 'yong liwanag na sinusundan mo at wala kang magagawa kundi tumigil pero kung malakas naman loob mo ay mangapa.

Being alone for me means not having enough reasons to live. Para kang robot na once naabandona ay kusa na lang magshashotdown at hindi na gagana. Parang kang sirang piyesa na kahit ilang beses nang ayusin ay hindi pa rin mapagana. That's how it works for me, so I'm afraid.

"It will look devastating and depressing if you will let your emotions got the best in you." He said in his most serious voice. "Look at Manong, hindi naman siya mukhang devastated because of his situation. There are still things that can make you sane even if you're alone. You can still see the best things in life as long as you will let your eyes open and you will accept everything. It starts with acceptance and everything follows."

"What if he was only acting like that outside? Acting strong outside but so weak on the inside? What if he was breaking down and he don't want anyone to know?" My tears started forming in my eyes kaya kinailangan kong tumingala para pigilan sila sa pagtulo. "What if he's dying inside?"