Chapter 11

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Tahleea's POV

I thoroughly enjoyed my birthday weekend. Dre really outdid himself with the planning and I thanked him in so many positions and rounds. He may have enjoyed the weekend as much as I did. Now that the weekend was over, it was time to jump back into our daily routine; work, and making sure the Hassans were taken to practices and games. Since football season has started, I depended on the help from my parents. Today, I'd be taking AJ to practice. His team was playing a scrimmage game against another team, and AJ made sure to remind me. Nothing could make me miss his game.

It was now noon, and I was trying my best to stay on task to have all contracts either completed or filed before 2:30. That's when I'd leave to pick up AJ from school and take him to the ball field. As I was working, my cell phone rang. When I saw the number, my heart sank. I knew the person on the other end wouldn't be delivering any good news. I answered the phone bracing myself for what I was about to hear.

"Tahleea, I'm not going to ask how you're doing because I know. Before I tell you anything, you have to promise me that you won't leave to see things for yourself. You will call your private investigator and have them follow through on what I'm going to tell you."

Remembering what happened four years ago, I promised that I wouldn't investigate on my own. As the caller provided the information, my heart felt constricted and the tears flowed. After hanging up with the caller, I called my private investigator and told her exactly where to go. Every time I receive one of these calls, I feel like I lose a piece of myself.

Pulling out the journal that I've been keeping ever since I remembered what happened the day of my accident, I wrote down the date and time. I stuck the journal inside my briefcase. The more I tried to remain calm, the more angry I became. I knew I wasn't going to get any more work done, so I called my secretary to let her know I was leaving.

So caught up in my thoughts, I jumped in my SUV. I had to get home. I arrived home in an emotional wreck and immediately ran up the stairs into our bedroom. So many different thoughts were going through my head. I wasn't sure why I thought I could wash everything away, but I took off my clothes and jumped in the shower.

Once I turned the water on, I leaned against the wall and cried. Why am I not enough for my husband? Why did I allow myself to get caught up in this trap again? I've done everything I could to make Dre happy. We're married with a beautiful family just like he wanted.

So many questions kept coming up in my mind. I was hurt, disappointed but most of all, angry. I was angry with Dre, but mostly angry with myself. How in the hell did I get here in this space again? How did I let him play me for a fool again? Now that we have children, I can't break up our home. Our children need both of their parents.

All of a sudden, my body started shaking like someone going through withdrawals. The shower door opened. Dre was standing there with no clothes on. I couldn't talk. I just looked at him with tears streaming down my face as my body shook violently.

Dre hurriedly turned the shower off, grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me. Not able to control myself, I was still crying and shaking. Dre carried me to the bed. Then all of a sudden, I started screaming.

"Don't touch me! Don't touch me!"

He looked at me with concern. Not knowing what to do, he pulled the covers from the bed.

"Tee, baby what's wrong? Why are you crying and why were you standing under cold water?

I still couldn't let the words come out of my mouth. It was almost as if I kept them inside, it would be like none of this really happened, like one long ass nightmare. I wanted to remain in denial, but it's my reality. I'm not sure why after all the dates I've journalized that this date would make me crumble. But, as I remembered what I wrote in my journal, this is the date twelve years ago that Dre and I made our relationship official and began dating, the first time. For twelve years, I've been loyal to a man who didn't know the first thing about being loyal to me. For twelve years, I've loved this man unconditionally. For twelve years, I've given this man all of me. For twelve years.......!

I still couldn't talk to Dre. He continued to ask me what was wrong or what happened. The shaking had calmed down, but I was still crying.

"Tahleea, baby, please talk to me."

I pulled out my briefcase and pulled out the journal. He sat on the bed looking at me as if he was trying to figure out what I was doing. Still not wanting to say the words, I gave him the journal. The first page read "The First Round First Pick....Macy" with the date of the draft.

Each page had a title and a date. He finally flipped to the page that read "I almost lost" with the date of my car accident. On that page, I taped a picture of the twins in the NICU and of me lying in bed in a coma.

"Who the fuck sent this to you? I hope you aren't believing this shit. Tee you know that I haven't been with Macy. I stopped seeing her a few years before you came back home and I definitely haven't been with her since we've been married."

I remained silent, still not wanting to say the words.... You are cheating on me.

It was getting closer to the time for me to pick up AJ from school. I did my best to gather myself, refusing to let my children see me down, but right now I'm broken. How am I going to put on a happy face when I am so sad? I feel like the very foundation I was standing on is no longer there. Asking God for just a little strength, I got up from the bed so I could get dressed. Dre grabbed me by my hand to pull me towards him. I jerked away from him.

"AJ has a scrimmage game today at 4. Maybe you can pull your dick out of Macy long enough to come see him."

"Baby this shit isn't true. You have to believe me! We have to talk about this!"

"There's nothing to talk about Dre. You did what you did and was caught. Right now, I don't have time or energy to waste talking about something we both know is true. I'll see you at the game."

I got my purse and keys and walked out.

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