Forty-Four

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It was already quite late, the sky was dark and the first stars were already leaking through the blanket of clouds, as Jacob returned. Judge followed his every step, making him seem like a ghost.

As you noticed Jacob's return, you jumped up and ran towards him, but stopped. You did not dare to jump into his arms. But you couldn't help and smile at him.

The sight made his heart jump. Suddenly, he felt like being soft again. But Jacob quickly shook that feeling off again.

"Pup.", he pat your head. "I have to go somewhere. Stay put and keep an eye on the wolf for me, will ya?"

A bit disappointed, you nodded and followed him as he pushed past you to grab something from the cave.

"Where are you going?"

"Out."

He knelt down before a box and started packing a few things, such as bullets, a pack of explosives and something that looked an awful lot like drugs.

"Can I be off help?", you asked, kneeling down next to him.

Ignoring you, he rummaged in another box and suddenly pulled out a rifle. The coat was painted red, the paint already peeling off in some places, with an attached sight on top.

The sight of the gun sent a cold shiver down your spine. You had to swallow hard, turned your eyes away and put a hand on his arm.

He shook it off again, as if your touch was hurting him like fire.

"Jacob?", with care you grabbed his face with both hands and forced him to look at you. "Are you going hunting? Without me?"

For a long moment he stared at you. His blue eyes wandered over your face, memorizing every tiny detail and burning the image so deeply into his memory that even death could not have snatched it from him. There was a gleam in his eyes, bright yet sad.

The sight of you made something inside him die. It was a merciless pain, piercing yet burning. Never before had he felt such pain. It felt like dying. It maybe, dying would have been better than enduring this.

A heavy sigh made his chest tremble. Gently he grabbed your hands and pushed them away from him.

"Pup.", his hand traveled to your cheek to caress it with his thumb. "Be a good pet and stay here. It's dangerous outside."

You frowned.

"I want to go with you."

"But you can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I say so."

With the stubbornness of a child, you press your lips together into a line.

"You want to leave me here. Why?", you couldn't hide the pain in your voice.

Something in the back of your head suddenly screamed, your heart began to beat wildly.

Was he going to leave you behind?

No, no, that wouldn't have made any sense.

Just a few minutes ago, he had insisted that you never approach the border of Eden's Gate. It wouldn't have made sense for him to change his mind now.

Leaving you in that cave, alone, would have meant that you could escape. And he probably didn't trust you enough to believe you wouldn't run away.

So what was it?

Why did he want to keep you in place?

"Pup.", his voice snapped you out of your thoughts. "I know it's all confusing. You don't have to understand, but if you want to live, you have to trust me. Not forever. But at least this once."

"I trust you!", you protested immediately. "I'm not afraid of you and I trust you enough to know that you won't stab me in the back."

"Good. Then be good and stay here."

He rose, put the strap of the rifle over his shoulder and called the wolf to him to order him to stay by your side.
Confused and somehow helpless you remained sitting on the ground. Your eyes followed him to the exit of the cave.

But he hesitated, cast one last glance over his shoulder and smiled mildly as you looked at him.

For a moment nothing changed, he stood in front of the exit while you crouched on the cold floor like a lost deer.

An unpleasant cold crept into your body, like a vermin that nestled in your chest. It felt like your heart was freezing.

But when Jacob still hesitated after some time, you jumped up.

"Jacob.", you stopped in front of him, but didn't dare touch him

You feared that a touch would make your heart burst.

"Hm?", with a strangely hopeful glimmer in his eyes, he turned to you. "I guess I made a bad choice with you. You'll never be a good soldier, you're too emotional and stubborn for that. Look at you. You can't even listen to my plea without getting upset."

He sounded amused, almost affectionate, as he teased you.

A sour expression appeared on your face.

"I care about you.", you admitted. "If you don't want me there, at least tell me where you're going."

"Why do you want to know?"

"So I can look for you if you're gone too long."

His eyebrows rose in surprise. His heart skipped a beat and suddenly everything inside him felt warm. But the surprise didn't last long and he put on his stony expression again.

"If it makes you feel better, I'm going hunting.", he said.

"Then let me go with you. I can take care of your wounds if you get hurt. I'm not good at killing, but I am good at healing."

A mild smile appeared on his lips.

"I know that. You already healed a lot of my wounds. But the prey I will hunt is out of your league."

"But-!"

"(Y/N).", your name tasted so bittersweet on his tongue. "Have I ever told you that I really like you?"

Surprised, you froze.

Words got stuck in your throat, making it impossible to respond.

He took a step closer, grabbed his leg and took your hand. With care, he placed his knife in your palm and squeezed it shut so you held it tightly.

"I like you.", he breathed a kiss onto your lips. "I might even be in love with you... But it's been so long. I don't know how that feels like anymore. Or how it feels to be loved. But I do know for sure that I like you a lot more than others. So much, that I want you to be safe. Safe and happy. That's what I want."

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