Matter of Desire || Oneus Xion

A Matter of Change (16)

Yuri's PoV

I take in the fresh night air. Walking beside me in his meticulous suit Xion looks like a fairytale prince once again. My hand automatically touches the rose necklace. It's a beautiful night, stars illuminate our way in the empty street. Our arms brush and I link mine with his.

"I wanted to talk to you about what you said that day we went to the nursing home. Love has a point even if it's passing. Sure some people pretend in these matters for their gain or for other reasons. But love, real love exists. It's what makes everything matter." He stops and looks down at me. His eyes are cold, pain, resentment, desire pass through them in a second's length. He wants to believe even though he doesn't right now. It should be too painful to think there could be no real love.

"How do you know?" I know because I love you, I want to say. But I feel that would only drive him away. "I know because I love. I love people, I love living, I love eating." That wipes away the stubborn expression from his face, "I know all of it has an end, maybe I'll grow tired of the things I love and even if that doesn't happen I'll surely die one day. But I don't love despite that, I love because I know it all has an end. Because I know there's no time to waste." Then tell him you love him, contests my brain, tell him before it's too late. But the night is too beautiful and I don't want to cry.

The time he rejected my cookies flashes in front of my eyes. I'm truly like a high school girl in front of him. All reason leaves me and I'm a slave to my emotions. The anticipation of what could be and the fear of losing him is too great. They clash in my heart and leave a rosy red on my cheeks.

He seems thoughtful about what I said but doesn't say anything. He just looks in my eyes and I have to remind myself to keep breathing. "You know we've been standing in front of your house right?" I notice as he points it out. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear shyly. "Umm... Goodnight then." I turn to leave but he catches my wrist. Is he going to hug me? My heart pounds.

"I just remembered, why did you correct me when I said I was your boyfriend tonight? Is it because Leedo..." I cut him off, this Leedo nonsense again. How can he not see my feelings towards him? "No, it's because I want to be honest to the people who I value. I didn't want to lie to Mrs.Kim."

Thankfully he doesn't dwell on the subject, he nods, "We'll have dinner with my older brother and his wife tomorrow and I'll take you to my grandpa next week. Ok?" At least now he kinda tries phrasing it like a question. "Sure," "And one more thing, I'll come early to get you ready." He smiles devilishly, I shake my head at him and then head up.

...

Yuri's PoV

I have a game plan by the time Xion arrives the next day. He might not find this discussion we're having about love that important but I sure do. So I make it my duty to let him see what loving life is like. I hear the bell and skip my way to the door. On my way, I pick up the bag of lollipops I've prepared. As I let the door open I tilt my head to the side for a more adorable picture.

"What's up?" Xion asks, no emotion on his face, no response to my piggy tail hair. That doesn't phase me, I hold out an unwrapped lollipop, "I love strawberry lollipops would you like one?" he narrows his eyes "Is this some kind of trap?" I nod "Yeah, I'll bewitch you into liking the things I like, and who knows maybe you'll even start loving some."

He walks past me into the living room and I follow, he scans the room before placing the bag in his hands onto my mint-colored sofa. I catch hold of his hand as he starts to unpack his makeup kit "Hey, I'm serious, this week you're under my command, we'll switch roles. I'll take you to places without notice and I'll dress you like a doll to my liking." I notice his eyes dart to our joined hands so I release his.

"But..." I pop the lollipop I'm holding into his mouth. The bewildered look on his face is so priceless I get the urge to scoop up my phone and take a photo.

"No buts in this household. It's only fair this way. Besides, I think it will be a good experience to have before meeting your grandfather. What if he asks you questions about me?" he takes the candy out of his mouth "Ok then," "Is that the dress you bought for me, I'll get changed and come back." I look back at the look on his face one more time before going into my room. I know his tricks now and I'll let him peek under my sleeves a bit, I'll make him love the things I love and hope that he falls for me in the process.

I come out with the dark green dress and give the skirts a twirl. It fits me like a glove. Xion's the most silent I've seen him ever be as he unties my hair and starts doing my makeup. I watch him as his fingers gracefully move over my face. He says he does makeup just because, but I can tell it means something to him. An expression. Perhaps one for the feelings he holds so close to his chest. Never letting anyone see behind his mask. Hiding himself from the world and from his own awareness at the same time. As I ponder he rubs his hands clean with a wipe "I'm done, let's get going." So that we do.

Xion's PoV

We are at a branch of our restaurant waiting for my brother and his wife Dambi to arrive. Yuri looks regal in the green chiffon dress. Naturally, after all, I picked it for her. I hate how my opinion in this matter oscillates so rapidly. I'm either too insecure or too sure of myself when it comes to her.

"I love that all your restaurants have their own pond." She comments looking out the window. "It's a tradition my grandma started. Water meant good health to her so when they started opening new branches she insisted that all of them be near some water source." The door slides open and my brother enters with a smug smile on his face. "I see you're already sharing family secrets with your girlfriend. Let me be honest I thought you were trying to pull some type of trick making up a relationship but this contradicts my expectations."

"Hello to you too brother." I say with a frown "If you'll keep insulting my girlfriend to her face all night we might as well leave right away." Dambi lets out a hearty laugh, a very practiced one. "Brothers... They start arguing the moment they meet. I wish I had siblings too."

Yuri bows to both of them and introduce herself. The room is tense with feigned formality. I could easily make conversation, lighten the mood. But I won't, I stopped caring about my relationship with my brothers a long time ago. There was a time I purposefully spited my older brother every time we met. Because I thought the way he was towards me was unfair. But I don't care anymore. I only feel apathy. He orders something from the menu and watches me with a familiar conceited look. I only accepted this dinner as a practice for Yuri, and so that our relationship would look more real.

Yuri catches hold of my hand under the table. I don't know what's going in her head. I can't even tell her emotions anymore. The warmth of her hand and the look in her eyes leaves me unable to do any of that. She clears her throat "So Son Donghun I doubt you would remember me, you were mostly abroad after all but we used to be neighbors when we were kids." They start talking about the old house, my brother asks about the Kang house but Yuri averts the topic expertly. She asks them how they married, how Donghun's business is going, what they think of the dinner... I just sit there and eat, I don't interfere unless they ask me something.

The initial hostile manner is gone but I know it will come back eventually. Not least because they like her. Her likability will be seen as a diplomatic weapon she wields. So they will smile at her but think of ways to bring her a few notches down. To somehow make her less likable to grandpa.