Matter of Desire || Oneus Xion

To Believe in the Dream (11)

Xion's PoV

It's been a few days since I kissed Yuri. It's according to the plan, I tell myself. I want her to fall for me, that way it will be more believable. She comes into the dressing room with a box in her hands. Her sweet smile is concerningly disarming, I need to talk to her, tell her our relationship is still fake because I feel like I have to keep my promise of honesty. That might get in the way of my plan but it might show me her loyalty if she stays by my side.

She opens the box to reveal the cookies inside, rose-shaped cookies "I feel like I didn't properly thank you for saving me. I made these last night, I'm not the best chef, but I hope you like them." She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear, excitement, compassion, care, shyness. She looks like a girl in front of her crush. The crush that's about to crush her heart.

"Yuri, I think I should make myself clear, I don't plan to date you seriously. I need you selfishly to stand by me, I really do, but I'm not down for any commitment. When I told you that the necklace is a matter of desire," when I kissed you because of the beautiful way you looked at me...

"What I meant was that it is a matter of your desire, to stay by me." She presses her lips together and puts the box down on the table. I wish I had thanked her for the cookies before I started talking but it's too late now. "I need a moment by myself," she takes off and I let her go, another moment of decision. Will she come back to me?

Leedo's PoV

I raise my hand to knock on Yuri's door, she's talking with someone "...is a matter of your desire, to stay by me." It's silent for a moment "I need a moment by myself," I hear Yuri's footsteps and barely have the time to step away from the door. She storms past me, I see Xion bent over a box inside the room, then I'm following her.

She goes to the rooftop, "Hey," I say softly "Do you need a friend?" Are you feeling cold? What happened..? She tries to wipe her tears discretely to no avail. I approach the railing beside her. "You keep seeing me at my worst." I place my hand over the railing, I might hug her otherwise. "There's nothing bad about crying or being drunk, we are all human. You get to be upset whenever you want. Besides you look adorable when you cry.." She laughs through her tears. "Stop it Leedo, I might take that literally and cry all the time." I shrug "Just let me be there to comfort you," she looks at me, really looks at me and the gratefulness in her eyes overwhelm me.

"When you ride your motor, you know you could get hurt at any moment... Why do you keep riding?" I don't think the question is about motors but I can't ever mince words to someone I care about "Because I love the feeling of wind on my face, I love the thrill I get when I make a sharp turn. It makes me feel alive." She nods and touches her necklace. "That's why I'll keep doing it. I will fly close to the sun, I'll naively follow him and do as he wants because it makes me feel alive. I'll get hurt eventually but until then I'll close my eyes and believe in the dream." What's your relationship with him? I want to ask, why did he leave you alone that night? Why did he make you cry now? Why do you have to like him when I'm... "Thank you," she whispers, "For being so open all the time, like the calm sea." She squeezes my arm and leaves me on the rooftop. "Like the sea," I repeat to the empty sky, "When you're burnt, I shall be there to cure your wounds."

Yuri's PoV

Like a little girl, I got my hopes up. It's not as if I didn't know what Xion's like. The constant calculation and the way he twists words, the way he twists you to his will. But it's just the way he said the words, "I want you to focus on me now..." it's not like I'm able to focus on anything else when he's around. Finding something I didn't remember losing, an old friend... So I heard what I wanted to hear, I heard what he didn't say so now my heart shouldn't find the right to break. I knew the rules of the game, and I still got addicted. It's indeed a matter of my desire, I'll be whatever he wants me to be. I'll close my eyes and believe in the dream. I only hope he won't make it too difficult for me. So that's what I tell him "I'll keep the necklace on but don't confuse me. If you're not serious don't flirt with me when we're alone." Don't make me think there's a chance you might love me.

...

Xion's PoV

This is the best that could have happened, so why do I feel this way? As if I lost something that I didn't know I could have.

Ravn waves a hand in front of my face. We are at our regular bar but the drinks lined up on the table don't seem very appealing "This is the first time I see you like this, did you get some brain damage when you jumped in the way of that falling beam? I swat away his hand that's coming towards my head presumably for a pat.

"Speaking of," he smirks "You're not the 'hero' type so what's up?" I ignore the pointed question but he decides to double in on it. "There something between you and Yuri?" "Hmm," I nod, to his surprise "I'm making her act as my girlfriend so that I can get my family off my back about being a player." "Really? She doesn't seem like the type to get wrapped in that sort of thing. I thought she had some spine.." I send a glare in his direction, "We know each other," I say, I want to defend her, to tell Ravn that it makes sense that she plays my games, but I don't know why she does either so I make up the easiest excuse.

"We were childhood friends." "Interesting," Ravn traces the lip of his glass "Really interesting, you're not worried this will ruin your relationship in the end?" "What are you getting at?" "I just thought that she's important to you," he points to my injured leg "Are you willing to burn your relationship with her to the ground?" "She's not important," I say. Do I believe that, or am I trying to make myself believe? "I'll strike the match myself once I get want I want."