Matter of Desire || Oneus Xion

The Sun and the Sea (12)

Xion's PoV

The director insisted that I stay behind but there's no way I can leave Yuri alone with that Leedo guy on a week-long trip to the Jeju island. They could 'find an easy replacement' for me so that I wouldn't have to suffer through the sand with my crutches. But the scene in front of me proves to me how I did the right thing by coming here. Standing side-by-side under the canopy, they are bundled together looking at something that should be extremely funny on their phones.

I close my eyes and try drowning out the sound of the laughter as I prepare Ravn for the shooting. There's no helping it, I thought I'd just ignore her relationship with Leedo but I can't just sit by idly. "Yuri, I need your help," I say, she turns to me, worried. "Come here?" I ask. "Can you stand there," I point somewhere, "I need to see how your shadow looks on Ravn's face to make his makeup properly." Ravn looks at me with incredulous eyes.

When Ravn and Yuri are gone to shoot I make my way towards Leedo. There's no tactful way to get my point across so I just go in headfirst. "I'll need you to stay away from Yuri," he raises a brow from the chair he's seated on "And I'll need you to keep your nose out of where it doesn't belong." I would cross my arms and fix him with a condescending glare if it wasn't for the damned crutches, I must look as far from intimidating as possible. "I'll decide where my nose belongs,"

"Ok, I'll entertain you," Leedo stands up and crosses his arms. That's what I was gonna do! -yells the spoiled kid inside me. "What makes you think you can meddle with my relationship with Yuri?" "She's my girlfriend," I say and fix him with the glare. That, I can do at least. "I don't want you to..." "She doesn't have a boyfriend." Leedo says "She told me herself, and since we started talking there are a few things I'll need to get off my chest." He steps closer and I hate the way he towers over me.

"Why did you let her go alone that night, after the party? She was in no state to be left alone, so why did you leave her? What kind of man lets their 'girlfriend' roam the streets alone crying at midnight? " that sparks a wave of old anger in me, "What kind of man!? What kind of man are you that she comes to work wearing your t-shirt the next day? Is that why you took her to your house? Because she was in 'no state to be left alone'?" He grabs my collar-anger, red-hot burning anger, let him burn, I think, let him burn the way I do.

"I kept myself from getting involved with you all this time because I actually respect Yuri and her decisions but I won't just sit and take your punches. Make her cry again and life won't be so comfortable for you anymore. I don't understand what she finds in you, I'll believe she's your girlfriend when she says it." He drops his hold on my collar.

I narrow my eyes, and let a smirk onto my lips slowly, "She belongs to me, ask her to take off the necklace I gave her. If she does, I'll help you make life uncomfortable for me." He turns and walks away. A weight lifted off my chest. Even if he doesn't stay away, now he knows, now I've planted the doubt in his heart.

...

Yuri's PoV

After a long day of shooting, the sun collects its last beams from the sky. "Can you get me a bottle of water?" Xion tilts his head to the side and I need to use all my will to stop from ruffling his wavy hair. He'd be furious if I did, I guess it'd wound his fragile men's ego.

I bring the water "Isn't it hard to be out here with the crutches? Why are you even here?" "To be with you," he says and grabs the hand I have the bottle in. Why does he have to make life so hard for me? He's always flirty, I should've gotten used to it by now so why does my stomach still make that flip when he touches my hand and tells me ambiguously romantic stuff. I try to pull my hand back but he doesn't let go. Instead, he pulls me and I find myself sitting on his lap sideways. Closing my eyes to reality and believing in the dream... But I'm already too close to the sun. My heart has already begun turning to char. I push myself off of him. Don't make me think you could love me...

"Someone might get the wrong idea." I force out. "Keonhee's not even on this trip." The anger that flashes behind his eyes is so unexpected. "Who'll get the wrong idea?" he stands up, I bet he would pace around if he could "So you have a crush on him after all... No wonder with the way you laugh and touch his arm and the way you wear his shirts and..." he tousles his hair in frustration. "What are you even talking about?" I ask, but he doesn't seem to be listening "Just because he takes care of you when you're drunk, just because he takes care of you... Are you that naive, do you think Leedo loves you?"

"What are you getting this angry for?" "You still know nothing about how men work... You fall into him just for some kindness, are you that easy?" that does it, I feel my blood boiling. "Are you hearing what you're saying? Don't jump to conclusions. Where does this even come from? Why would I like Leedo?" "Why did he you call you that night? Why did you stay in his house? Why did you.." he stops suddenly to catch his breath. "You know what, I don't even mind. I don't care if you love him. Just go and jump on his lap, what are you even waiting for? That way he won't get the wrong idea." I slap him. Only after that do I realize the tears falling down my cheeks. It manages to get him out of his trance.

He looks like he's just started to see me "You're right," I say "I don't get how men work, If I did you wouldn't be saying these to me, you wouldn't doubt where my heart lies..." I seek refuge in the sands, I leave him behind and walk and walk. Till I forget where I came from.

...

It starts raining as I walk under the indigo sky. How appropriate, at least now the drops will hide my tears. I reach up with my hands, it's not like I was hoping to sit under the stars with him. Not like I was getting my hopes up again... It's good that he keeps breaking my heart. That should remind me where I stand. "Yuri," Leedo says, his voice as deep as the ocean. "Do you need a friend?" that's enough to get a smile out of me. "You keep seeing me at my worst," I repeat myself as he opens the umbrella he's holding. "There's nothing bad about crying or being drunk, we are all human. You get to be upset whenever you want. Besides... you look adorable when you cry.." "Stop it Leedo, look how I took that literally and now I cry all the time." he shrugs "Just let me be there to comfort you," "We must be actors, look how we memorized a regular conversation verbatim." "Did you fall off the motor?" he asks. "Or did the motor leave you again?"

I remember part of a poem I memorized for a role and start walking as I recite it

"It's not always the fear of losing them

that scares us

it's that we have given them

so many of our pieces"

"that we fear losing

parts of us

when they are gone."

He completes the poem. "Atticus," I nod. "There's another one," he says " You're too full of life to be half loved by someone." I look at him and the umbrella he's holding above us, I should just love Leedo instead as Xion says. If only we could choose where our hearts went.