Trust Once Broken | SGA John Sheppard

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He reached for her waist, easily supporting her weight. It was often easy to forget how small Kai truly was. She had such a large personality, a force of nature. But with a arm around her waist, Sheppard could have easily picked her up. He helped her into the shelter, settling her down on the bedroll.

Kai scooted herself back, giving John as much room as possible. He turned and squatted near the entrance, keeping his eyes on the forest. Kai watched him warily, trying to see any evidence that he he was being affected. His side of the Bond wasn't as clear as it normally was. It almost felt like there was static, muddling his feelings.

John glanced back at her and saw that hard, emotionless gaze Kai used when she was reverting back to her training. It had been a long time since she had used that look on him. He swallowed, hating he had made her feel insecure.

"Leonard must have built this before he lost it," he said, making conversation as much to reassure her as to reassure himself that he was in control. He moved back to her to check on her leg. "Dressings a little sloppy. Still bleeding pretty badly. I'm going to change it and go back and then ah, get Beckett," he said, pulling out another bandage.

"John," Kai said after a moment. Watching his jerky movements and the tension in his body carefully. "What just happened out there? The look on your face? I could feel your confusion?"

John forced himself to focus on her wound. "Nothing," he assured her, trying for a reassuring smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.

That worried Kai more than anything. Like her, John always had absolute control of his emotions. The fact that he couldn't hide his worry made her even more uneasy.

"Somebody just popped into mind and caught me off guard," he said as he changed the dressing.

"Do you think it has anything to do with the wraith generator?" Kai asked carefully. That was exactly what she thought may have happened. She had never experienced a psychic attack from a wraith, her Mortii blood and minimal psychic training protected her from that, but from what she had heard, they could implant images in the minds of their prey.

"Hell if I know," John said, but he was worried that was exactly what was happening. He couldn't imagine what could have made a man like Leonard turn on his men. If he was honest, he was terrified of losing control around Kai. He should have left her with McKay, headache be damned. He was much more of a danger to her than a migraine.

"Don't worry. I'm fine," he promised her. "No violent urges yet...What about you?" he asked. He reached out, tucking a single strand of hair that had fallen loose from her scarf behind her ear. "Getting any ideas about killing me? Beyond the usual of course," he added with a wry grin.

Kai couldn't help the smile that pulled at her lips. She knew he was trying to make her feel better, but she couldn't help but be charmed by him. Even in the face of all this, he was trying to protect her and take care of her.

Kai shook her head, only John could make her smile in this situation. "No."

"Well that's good to hear," he said sardonically. "My only shot at survival would be that you're injured," the joke tasted like ash in his mouth as he spoke the greatest fear he had. If he lost control, Kai was injured and wouldn't be able to protect herself from him.

He tightened his jaw and continued. "With that leg of your's I might be able to run away from you if you turn on me...how's the head?" he asked after a moment. He could feel pain coming through the Bond, but it was impossible to tell what was from the building migraine and what came from the gun shot wound.

"A secondary nuisance now," Kai assured him. She didn't want him to worry. The pain of the gunshot wound had pushed the pressure building in her head to minor back ground noise. Especially with how far they were from the cave.