golden ; a draco malfoy fanfiction

fifty six

draco malfoy

I wish I didn't have to focus so much on this damn cabinet.

Lola was coming back soon, which took me by surprise.

She didn't have drugs to win or anything?

I didn't know how to feel. Fuck, it was so hard to feel anyway.

My life has been stripped away by a problem that I thought the world was rid of, and now I am helping that problem kill his biggest threat.

Everything had changed since Lola left. Things were different here, at least for me. I acted differently towards my friends. They treated me like they were scared I could lash out. I could, at any moment.

I sat on my floor, leaning my back against my bed frame. My breaths were long and shaky. How do I always manage to end in this exact spot?

I sighed, reaching under my bed, sliding out a small photo.

Lola.

I looked at her, happy and smiling. Her eyes lit up the entire picture. Her small arms were wrapped around me, embracing me.

I was happy too. Her touch electrified me.

"Draco, look at what I found today!"

She had gone shopping with mother again and came back with loads of items.

"A camera?" I asked as she handed me her find. "You can get these anywhere, love."

She looked at me, her hands on her hips. "Well," she began. "This one is special."

"Enlighten me."

Lola set the camera down, pressing a button as she did so. "Smile!" she exclaimed, running back towards me, her arms flying around me.

I couldn't help but smile at the surprise of her touch. It was warm and gentle.

The camera flashed and clicked as it captured our moments together.

She skipped over to the mantle where the camera was laying and started to shake the newly developed photo.

"Look," she whispered, holding it out for me to see. "Try to tell me that's not special."

And she is so special, regardless of what hobbies she has taken up at Beauxbatons. She was still the Lola I know. I'm sure of it.

A knock sounded on my door, and I quickly slid the photo back to its place. My eyes darted to my sleeve, which I pulled down hastily.

What an abomination to have on my arm. I wanted to erase it, rip my skin off. Anything to rid me of the constant evil that reigned over me.

"Who is it?" I asked, my tone harsh. It was so easy to snap at people.

"It's Blaise."

"Come in," I tried to make myself sound friendlier, but Blaise didn't know what I was going through. No one did.

No one knew about the secrets, the spying, or the sneaking. No one knew about the guilt, the trauma, the constant fear.

Only I did, and I was the one to carry its call on my shoulders.

My door creaked open, and Blaise stepped inside. "Hey," he softly spoke. "Elodie's coming back tomorrow morning."

"Thanks."

"Maybe she can get you out of whatever slump you're going through."

A slump. A slump couldn't describe the emptiness I felt. A slump couldn't communicate the fact that I am holding on to a sliver of humanity that got smaller by the day.

"Right, yeah," I mumbled. "A slump."

Blaise gave a soft smile and turned to leave, gently shutting the door behind him.

Another sigh, and I finally stood up. I didn't want to work on the cabinet today.

So I didn't.

I took off my clothes, getting into bed. Everything was cold without her.

I lay in bed, staring at my ceiling for what felt like forever.

Until somehow, the morning sun started to spill through my windows.

She was coming home today.

My heart raced as I threw my clothes back on. I paced my room back and forth.

I brushed through my hair. I fixed my sleeves. I paced again.

I heard voices downstairs, muffled by the walls.

My breathing became erratic once more, but I reminded myself of her.

It's Lola. You know her, and she knows you. You love her, and she loves you.

I closed my eyes, slowing my breath down.

Fixed my sleeve.

Time passed much quicker than anticipated. All of my time worrying could be spent with Lola downstairs.

I walked towards the door, ready to see her again.

Knock.

I froze in my place. She was on the other side of my door. The only person in this entire world with a chance of understanding what I was going through.

She wouldn't say I'm in a slump.

Knock.

My hand reached towards the handle, and I started to twist it.

My heart raced faster than when I was at the hands of  Voldemort.

I opened the door.

Silk. Honey. Sugar.

A breath of fresh air.

The smell that lingers after it rains.

A comfortable bed after a long day.

My love.

Lola.

I studied her face, taking in every inch of her. Her doe eyes, the same mixture of browns, greens, and golds. Her perfect lips. I wish I could kiss her all over. That wavy brown hair that still managed to stand out in every crowd.

There was so much to say, and I didn't know how to say it.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer to me.

A crackling log fire.

Home.

I felt her chest rise and fall against mine, and I tried to pull her in closer. My veins pulsed with warmth.

It was feeling.

I felt something. A pang of joy.

I felt so much. Happiness, warmth, love, excitement, joy. It all came from a simple touch.

A tear rolling down my face.

A smile growing on my lips.

A voice, finally gaining the courage to be heard.

I said her name, loud and clear, without a single drop of harshness.

"Lola."