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Sept. 4th 1979

"Thank you" I smiled at the barista.

I had been living in Washington for the past 5 years.

I picked up the newspaper that laid on the coffee table.

It was The Oregonon

Jeez, i hadn't seen one of these since i was 15.

I gasped as i read the head title

"Attorney Chris Chambers Fattily Stabbed in Restaurant"

I dropped my coffee on the ground, making it go everywhere.

I read the page thinking it couldn't be him.

It was.

Chris Chambers..

I haven't thought about him since i was 16.

Damn he became a attorney

Leaving him was one of the hardest things i've had to do.

We weren't in love, i wish we would have been though.

I sometimes wish i never left, maybe we would have fallen in love.

"What a fucking idiot" I whispered as i read the page.

'Local Attorney Chris Chambers Fattily stabbed and died instant at the scene. A fight broke out on September 4th at a fast food restaurant, Chambers tried to get in the middle and got stabbed in the throat, he died on scene.."

"Maam are you ok-" A barista said "Oh isn't it terrible, i feel so sorry for his poor family"

I nodded "ya me to" I whispered

"Do you have a phone?" I asked

"Mhm right back there" The lady pointed to the back of the coffee shop.

I went back to the phone and dialed Gordies number, his was one of the very few i memorized in case of a emergency.

It rang a few times.

"Hello?" a grown man said.

"Lachance" I whispered in the phone.

"Hello? Who is this" Gordie said.

"It's Lila.." I said "Did you hear about Chris"

My voice broke a little saying his name.

"Lila Patterson?!" Gordie replied "God how've you been?"

"I've been good.. I've been in Washington for some years now"

"Oh god i haven't talked to you in ages... I'm guessing your calling about Chris"

"So you do know"

"I found out this morning... His funerals on Friday if you want to come"

"Ya... Um ya sure"

"Here's my address, you can crash at my house.. It's good to hear from you Lila, it's good to know your ok"

He gave me his address, he lived near Teddys house.

"I'll see you soon Gordie"

"Alright, bye now"

He sounded so grown up, put together. Like he knew what he was doing.

"Thank you" I said as i left the coffee shop.

I would stop at my house grab a few things th- The letter.

I had forgotten about the letter.

I went all around the country putting it off because i knew if i read it i would want to go back.

"Shit where is it" I whispered.

"What's wrong babe" My husband asked.

"Have you see a letter addressed to me from a Chambers"

"Ya, i think it's in your makeup drawer, why?"

"Thanks love" I said kissing his cheek.

"Lila why are you in such a rush?" He asked following me up the stairs.

"Remember how before i met you i lived in Oregon" I said a bit out of breath "Well my old friend, the one who gave me the letter, passed away and i need to find it"

"Hold on slow down.. you'll find it"

"No you don't understand i need to leave now so i can make the funeral and i NEED to find that letter"

"We'll find it, just slow down, i'll help you"

"No! I need to find it, you'll just make everything worse"

"Lila stop! Are you ok"

I looked at him and tears started to form.

"I-I loved him" I said breaking down crying.

He gave me a hug as i sobbed into his shirt.

"Shh it's ok... It's ok" He said "It's gonna be ok"

"Bill, i haven't thought about him in years.. YEARS.. But i loved him so much when i was 15" I said between sobs.

He let go of me and went over to my makeup drawer, than pulled out the letter.

"Here" Bill Said.

"Oh god.. Thank you" I said.

"Your welcome" He said kissing my forehead "Call me when you get there... I would come but i have a important meeting about my book tomorrow"

"Love you, thanks"

"Love you to"

I took a deep breath and than drives off.

The note was on the passenger seat of my car.

It would take 5 hours to get to Castle Rock.

I stopped at a nearby restaurant to read the letter.

Lila Patterson
Happy birthday. 16, damn i wish. I wish you would have invited me to come with because i would drop anything to come, to be your partner in crime, i know your whole goal is to fuck the lead singer but i won't mind i promise. Jeez what would it have been like if you would have asked me to come along, would we be in love? Would i admit to you that i have feelings for you? Would we be happy? Would our kids be cute or would they be the kind you can't look at for to long like Vern? I'm not really sure what to say other than i will miss you. I hope you read this and decide to come back, because we need you here. Anyways, i wanted to let you know i'll always have your back, weather i know you later in life or not, i have your back. Since day 1. Remember when Ace was harassing you? The guy who scared him off was me, i got a bloody lip from it but it was ok, because you were ok, i'm not sure why i did it, but i think i knew if i didn't i would have hated myself. I'm sorry for acting like such a dick sometimes; most of it was because i was scared how i felt. Chris Chambers kid brother to Eyeball chambers(I know y'all fucked don't worry) was scared because of a girl, because he loves her. Chris Chambers scared of love. Who would have thunk it. I hope when you read this you give me a call, because i'd love to hear your voice, i'd love to catch up. Oh! also, i have a pair of your panties, if you want them back your gonna have to come visit! They're red and have lace all over them, you left them in my room one time and they made me happy. Stay safe, and if anything cool happens, or if you ever need help i'm here for you. Always. Jeez this thing is fucking long, and my hand hurts so i'm gonna stop writing, but have a good life, it was cool to know you.
Love, Chris Chambers, your nighttime fuck

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