Perspectives

Chapter One

CHAPTER ONE

Payton woke up and for a split second she wished she didn't. She wished she could just sleep the day away and run away from her fears, her responsibilities and her demons. She rubbed at her eyes, swung her feet over the edge of the bed and slipped them into her black furry house slippers. She wiggled her toes around a bit, appreciative for the warmth she felt as opposed to having to place her bare feet on the cold, laminated floors. She yawned and already felt a headache creeping on.

Who does that? She questioned her body for making her feel that way so early in the day. Her friend, Jael, was constantly telling her that her emotional and physical state intertwined, and her headaches and fatigue were probably a sign of some sort of mental turmoil she was going through. Although Payton knew it may be true, she didn't have time to worry about her mental state. She reached for the paracetamol tablet case on her side table, against her better judgement not to take medicine on an empty stomach and popped one out and threw it in her mouth.

The steam from the hot shower made the entire bathroom hot and the feeling of the heat against her skin, finally made her feel somewhat alive. She sighed as she heard the hustle and bustle of her siblings that awaited her outside the door, she wrapped the towel around her body and stared at herself in the large mirror opposite her.

"Payton man!" her younger brother banged against the bathroom door. "Hurry up, I have football in an hour."

"Then wakeup earlier you little prick." Payton hissed at him and continued to take her time. Her fifteen-year-old brother Keanon was truly the apple of her eye, despite how much he irritated her. He inherited their mothers dark, long natural lashes and big eyes, he had the most perfect dark umber skin tone, similar to his older sister and managed to steal the heart of everyone that came across him. Teachers often described him as 'charming' and it made it difficult for them to tell him off even when they were within their rights to. Payton loved her younger brother with everything in her, she would give him the world if she could and she constantly reminded him how proud she was of him. Being from their area in East London, there was always a high chance for him to go down the wrong path, like some of his friends. Payton thanked God that Keanon had no desire to become involved with the local gang and had set his sights on pursuing football.

Finally getting ready for work, Payton applied moisturiser to her face and followed it up with some serums. Payton appreciated her beauty; she would simply be lying if she said she did not see how attractive she was. From a young age, she began to mature physically which gained her both wanted and unwanted attention. She always felt that she matured too quickly and advised her younger female cousins not to do the same. Unfortunately, Payton knew from a young age that sex sells, she learned that she could use her body to gain what she wanted and that knowledge both benefited her and damaged her.

She flipped her head upside down and applied the wig which she had labelled her 'work wig' on her head. It was a bone straight, natural black 5x5 closure unit that was easy to maintain, throw on and get her out of the house on time. She tied her hair back into a rough bun and applied a generous amount of Vaseline onto her lips. She instinctively pouted in the mirror and squinted her eyes seductively, a look she often adopted to get her way when she needed to. She tilted her head to the side and examined her appearance, her full and naturally dark eyebrows were constantly in perfect condition as she always did them herself and aided her to look almost flawless without makeup. Being a dark-skinned black woman, she was aware of the difficulties posed by the colourist and racist society that told girls who looked like her that they were less than. In some ways Payton was used to being desired and was something she became familiar with when she shouldn't have. Older men were constantly telling her how beautiful she was, and Payton knew it was wrong. She knew they were predatory and fetishizing her, but she learned to convince herself that the benefits outweigh the negatives.