Mistress's Good Boy (BWWM)

Chapter 35

"And! I'm like lowkey terrified of you. You're so stubborn and your jealousy is fearsome. I know you have told me about your past, but even now I still have doubts and it's been driving me crazy. Maybe that's just a side effect of our bond, but I was questioning a lot of things about you and those who were in your life before me. To make matters worse people kept getting in my head and I shouldn't have let them. I should have come into the relationship on my own, and for that, I apologize. Fuck, and I'm a bitch. I got a flash drive of everything on your old Doms," I scrub my eyes with my palms and then yank one of my braids wincing as it snags a few coiling strands. "Fucking hell, I got someone to hack into the drive and bypass the passwords and I didn't even tell you. I just really shitted on your privacy. I'm sorry." The words just keep tumbling out and I know deep down I wouldn't be able to stop them even if I wanted to.

I ended up telling him everything.

When I finish putting myself on blast, I school my features and look up at the sub waiting for him to say something.

"That's everything I can think of from the top of my head." I clasp my hands together.

"Okay," Ezra drags his gaze up slowly but surely until I'm staring into the depths of green and brown coloring, swimming. I take another deep breath closing my eyes for the briefest of seconds. The bond floods with this indescribable feeling, like stepping outside after a storm. Or driving through the countryside with all the windows down on a hot day. Hell, it even feels like stretching your legs after a long test. That bone-deep satisfaction, freeing.

"Okay? There's nothing else you want to say?" He smiles shaking his head.

"I understand where you're coming from, I mean if I were put in your shoes, I'd probably do some of the same things as you. However, I don't like how you...how you went behind my back with the drive," I nod in understanding offering another apology. "I wish it wouldn't have come down to that, but I made you feel as if that was the only way for you to get answers, so for that I am sorry," He takes a deep breath, and his leg starts to bounce as he gnaws at his thumbnail. "As for my behavior, I know it can be horrible sometimes. I'm overly jealous and have separation issues due to a lot of fucked up people doing fucked up shit to me. And I'm not trying to justify my actions, but I want to get better. For you...and me. I want to be good to be fixed, normal. I'll work on myself. And when you come back from France, I will tell you my gospel. Everything, I'll even go through the drive with you. I just hope you'll...try and understand what's going on with me, the version of me sitting in front of you now and the version of me engraved on the drive. Can you do that for me? Can you try?"

"I can try. I will try," I promise as I reach up to cup his cheek holding the warmth of his pliant skin, cradled in my palm delicately. My head tilts down and I offer a small smile nodding. His breath ghosts over my lips.

"How do you feel?" He asks a bit timidly.

"Serene," I chuckle. "Like...like a big step was made.." Ezra's features soften and he places his cool hand against my knuckles.

"That's all I wanted, that's all I've ever wanted." And I catch the beading tears in the corners of his eyes before they can streak down his cheek. There is a creak in the hall outside of the kitchen, the noise too small and insignificant to draw my gaze or attention. Ezra seems to think the same thing.

"Oh!" I tilt towards the voice, my hand still planted firmly against my sub. Another light chuckle tumbles past my lips, and Ezra giggles cupping my wrist as he feeds off the emotions tugging at the bond.

"Morning shugs," Noma whispers dragging my suitcase. The wheels clatter as they catch on the tiniest of gaps across the floor. "I see... well how are you both?" She places a hand on her hip and the other across a smile tugging at her lips.