Jegulus: the escaping of a broken home

Anything off the trolley, dears?

James' POV

We had come to be sitting with Regulus Black. I would never have thought the train ride would go like this. And I hadn't expected him to be so... chill. Sirius had always made it seem like Regulus was already in the Dark Lord's inner circle or something.

We had all been talking for a while, and he was actually... I don't know... cool? I wasn't really sure what to make of it but I wasn't going to make something bad out of it. Yet.

"So why aren't you off casting an evil spell?" Sirius snapped, pulling me out of my thoughts. I was positive that had been the wrong thing to say.

I was right.

"I don't... know." The boy had said before turning back to the window. The atmosphere had become rather tense after that. I kept watching his face. He seemed to be struggling with something, some sort of internal argument or debate. Everyone else seemed to be aware of this as well.

"Marly, did you do something different with your hair? It looks a bit shorter." Remus commented, obviously trying to ease the tension.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I decided that it was far too long. If I had straightened it, it would have fallen to my knees." She said, visibly glad of the distraction. Remus nodded politely. This seemed to have an effect on everyone else, who started talking as well.

Peter started sharing recipes with an interested Alice, and Lily and Frank jumped into a conversation about exams and classes. I turned to Sirius. He didn't seem bothered by the recent events, and I decided not to linger on it.

"So, Padfoot, I was thinking. We could start off the year with something really big." I began enthusiastically.

He answered with the same level of enthusiasm, tearing his eyes away from his brother. "Yeah, something to remind Minnie summer is over and she gets to deal with us again."

I laughed and shook my head at the familiar nickname for my favorite Professor. "Maybe like, confetti."

"Confetti? Have you gone soft?" He asked incredulously, and a bit indignantly.

"Shut up, let me finish. Git."

"You love me."

"Moony loves you more."

Remus seemed to hear this last sentence and a blush spread across his cheeks, but he didn't falter in his conversation with Marlene.

"Ok, so confetti and like, we change the whole Great Hall to Gryffindor colors, and maybe even the Slytherin's robes." I continued, letting a grin spread across my face.

"Red isn't really my color." Regulus' voice carried from the corner.

Everyone turned to look at him. The previous silence had come back. He turned to face us fully and suddenly looked wary.

"Jesus fucking Christ! I'm not a bomb, and the staring is unnerving." He paused before continuing. "I'm so sorry that my ability to speak is so shocking." He said drily, upon noticing the pointed silence.

"Done with your dramatic meltdown?" Sirius asked pointedly, causing everyone to turn their heads to him, like they were watching a fight unfold, which, I reminded myself, we probably were. Before I could step in, Regulus spoke up.

"I looked out the window, sorry that you're not used to having everyone's attention on you at all times. Honestly Sirius, grow up! I'm not sitting with them right now, am I?" He snapped.

He had a decent reason to be upset, but I was supposed to side with Sirius, so I stayed silent.

"Why? They got the mark before you or something?!? Bella's disappointed in you already?" Sirius snapped back rather fast.

"If you're going to turn this to them then fine. I'm not a death eater and neither are most of them! You really want to bring up family issues right now?!?" Regulus shot back.

I took them to be Regulus' friends.

"Yeah, not most of them. What a relief." He started, completely ignoring the last part of Regulus' statement. "And not yet, but how do I know they aren't planning to make you a death eater by Christmas?" Sirius asked, for once letting his cool exterior drop. The two were either oblivious of everyone's staring or they couldn't care. Even Mary had woken up and was watching silently from Alice's lap.

Regulus didn't answer, just stared back blankly. Like he was... holy shit.

"Wow. You're... you're sick." Sirius said, obviously ashamed, but he didn't take back what he just said.

"It's not-" Regulus began but cut off, seeming to not know what to say. He was now pulling frustratedly at one of his silky black curls.

"NOT WHAT? NOT WHAT YOU THOUGHT, IS IT? DIDN'T THINK IT WAS SO MUCH KILLING, DID YOU? DIDN'T THINK IT WAS TORTURE AND BLOOD ON YOU?" Sirius yelled, now on his feet. I wanted to stop him, but I stayed frozen, like everyone else.

"Sirius-" Regulus began almost pleadingly.

"No, you didn't think it was discussing your kill count proudly at family gatherings, was it? You didn't realize it was pain and shortcoming for fun, did you?" Sirius shook his head and laughed derisively.

Regulus was starting to recoil in the corner, like Sirius was physically attacking him. "Stop it! Don't say it, Sirius please..."

"Don't say it because you don't want someone to tell you the truth? So you can be lied to?"

"Shut up..." Regulus said quietly, looking extremely distressed now. I wanted to stop it, but I couldn't. I almost got up, but Sirius continued.

"Yeah." Sirius breathed before saying, "DIDN'T REALIZE YOU'RE A MURDERER!" Sirius roared, taking a step forward.

That was when Regulus shrunk, flinging his two arms across him in a defensive position. So quickly it was instinct.

My blood ran cold, flashbacks of Sirius coming back to me.

Walburga and Orion Black really were monsters.

It was Sirius all over again. Everyone around was horrified. Frozen, like I was. Staring at the broken boy in front of us, skinny arms raised like they would help. Sirius looked down at Regulus, frozen in disgust. But not with Regulus. With himself. And his stupid parents. His horrible, wicked, parents. I couldn't fully see his face, but I knew I didn't want to. I knew the blame and pain I would see. The pain of leaving behind his brother. The pain I hadn't had to see for a while.

Sirius stumbled back. I half caught him as he weakly sat down. It was dead silent. Regulus squinted through his arms, like he expected to see his abusers on the other end. Upon realizing what had just happened, he lowered his arms. Yet, they weren't fully lowered. They were tucked over his knees and chest, ready to be brought back up at any moment. A defensive stance. One I had seen Sirius take on multiple occasion. No one bothered to break the unmistakeable, heavy silence. Regulus looked away.

We sat there like that for so long. The first hour of the train ride had gone by far too fast. Too much had happened. The silence was then broken by someone outside of our group.

The door slid open, and the trolley witch stood there with her usual motherly smile. But it quickly faded as she read the room.

"Anything off the trolley, dears?" She asked cautiously.

We all placed various orders, handed over our cash and received our candy. This had half-broken the silence, and now everyone was whispering or murmuring among themselves. Acting like being louder was a curse.

Regulus hadn't ordered anything. I wasn't sure if he was still shook from what happened or if it was... something else. I remembered how little Sirius had been able to eat last year.

Sirius seemed to think the same thing and opened a case of Pumpkin Pasties pointedly. He said the smell used to make him nauseous because of how rich it smelled.

Regulus shrunk further into his corner, and turned his face into his sweater. A small move, but one the Marauders knew well. We shared a glance before looking back at the broken boy, Peter motioning for Sirius to close the case of food. Sirius was too busy observing Regulus to notice, and the box remained open.

Regulus Black. What have they done to him?