final round - lrh

fifty-two.

 Later that night, I was beyond shocked when Luke suggested we all hang down by the waterfront, myself, Declan, Ashton, and Calum included. In fact, I thought it was a prank at first as I figured there was no way he would so blatantly do something that was completely against his rules in front of Declan, Ashton and Calum.

Obviously, I'm aware of his willingness to break the rules here and there but I figured his pride was too important for him to do so in front of all of them. However, they hardly seemed as phased as myself as they agreed within moments, us all picking a time later in the night so no one would catch us.

Then again, I do recall telling him of my desire to come down here more often as it brought me a sense of normalcy, as well as a happiness that is incomparable to anything else we could possibly do here.

And because I knew the guys were dying to be together as a whole for the first time in a while, I mostly stood off to the side as everyone, besides Luke, responsibly drank a few beers in the water.

I've been so intrigued by just watching them all interact, hearing them all laugh like normal human beings as it's evident how desperately they all needed this. For that, I'm happy for them and I'm even happier that I was invited down here to see it all first hand.

Even Luke seems to be enjoying himself as he can't seem to stop talking to Declan. It's clear he cares about him just as much as Declan does him and I see that in the way that they interact with one another. Especially as Luke is hardly one to wear his heart on his sleeve so to see him look to Declan with a bright light in his eyes, I can tell just how much he means to him.

And it makes me feel like there's a small glimmer of hope that he could accept, if there even is anything to accept, whatever is going on between Luke and myself. Then again, I don't know if I should even be thinking in such a way considering who's to say anything could ever come of us? Am I just his entertainment while he's here?

The thought is enough to make my stomach turn but I attempt to quickly brush it aside as we really haven't talked about feelings at all. We haven't talked about what we are or what we want to be. Instead, we've just relished in our time with one another and have pushed aside any worries or concerns that could step in the way.

"LJ!" I hear, grabbing my attention as all the guys turn to look at me. "Are you coming in or what?"

"I'm having a grand time just sitting back and watching," I call back, being perfectly content where I am and having no intentions of getting into that freezing cold water and joining them.

I'm enjoying watching them catch up and be in the presence of one another as they laugh with each other and hopefully are able to enjoy their time. Obviously I know they wouldn't mind if I joined but I'd rather give them their space to feel like their old selves again.

"Boring!" Declan calls out, myself rolling my eyes as I only laugh at his response. I accept his words, nonetheless, choosing to stay out of the water as I stretch my legs in order to get comfortable.

I notice Luke says something to them before beginning the trek out of the water and towards me. I'm surprised by him doing so as I anticipate his explanation as to how he plans on coming over here and talking to me while in the presence of all of them.

I'm sure he's going to try and convince me to join them but unfortunately, that's not happening.

As he jogs up to me, I give him my full attention and shoot him a smile, thankful that he's coming over as I've already managed to begin missing him.

"Hey you," he says to me, taking the spot beside me before asking, "What are you doing over here?"

I shrug my shoulders, watching him bend his knees as he rests his forearms over them.