final round - lrh

twenty-seven.

When I say Lieutenant Hemmings kicked my ass today, Lieutenant Hemmings kicked my ass today.

As soon as he interrupted Ashton and I talking, he demanded that I come back into the cafeteria as he sat and watched me eat a new plate of food. The act was infuriating purely because he was acting so different at the motel and now he's back to the same old Lieutenant Hemmings.

It's absolutely frustrating. 

One second he was kissing me and treating me like he actually cared about me and now he's acting as if I'm the enemy. He hasn't shown to have warmed up to me in the slightest even after everything. 

It makes me want to pull my hair out in anger.

I went to training for the day and he stood above me the whole entire time to make sure I was doing everything properly. In fact, he even made sure to yell at me and correct me anytime I messed up in the slightest. 

No one else, of course, just me.

He even had this dumb smirk on his face considering he knew damn well what he was doing to me and just how much it was torturing me. But of course, I only bit my tongue, knowing the second I opened my mouth would only lead to satisfaction on his part. 

God forbid I give him any form of satisfaction.

I want to let my anger out more than anything else but have no idea how to. A part of me desires to go for a long run just to let out some frustration but I don't know if I have the energy for that after the exhausting day. 

I've been staring at the wall angrily, not even finding it in me to shower yet as I don't want to get up. I'm frustrated, frustrated beyond words. Lieutenant Hemmings is going to be the death of me and I wish he'd just cut me some slack.

I don't even know if he's back to his cabin yet, but if he is, I have no interest in seeing him. I had eaten dinner fairly quickly in an attempt to be nowhere near him. Plus, I ate it all so he had no reason to reprimand me once again over food.

When he interrupted Ashton and I, I knew Ashton was annoyed. Especially considering it seemed like he still wanted to talk about things but I was more worried about getting inside to avoid Lieutenant Hemmings freaking out even more.

I went back to the cafeteria and Ashton joined me. We ate pretty much in silence considering we both knew we had more things to talk about but it was too busy and loud in the cafeteria to talk about it properly.

After breakfast, Michael came back out and continued with the training and the rest of the activities of the day. He was fairly cold with me and hardly seemed interested in talking to me at all. 

Unfortunately for me, I want to talk to him more than anything because I know he's upset and that alone upsets me. He even skipped dinner as I'm sure he figured I'd use it as a chance to talk to him. I contemplated going to his cabin and try to talk things out but decided I'd give him his space.

So instead, I sat by myself at dinner, ate the food quickly, then came back here. I've been staring at the wall ever since considering I wish I could just fall asleep and call today a day but I have too much on my mind. 

I'm annoyed with Lieutenant Hemmings, confused by Ashton, and stressed about Michael.

Groaning, I lay back on my bed and squeeze my eyes shut. Who knew joining the army would come with this much drama? Who knew being friends with guys came along with this much drama?

I swear I go to bed every night stressing about something new.

I came out here to do one thing and that was to protect Declan, yet it came with everything else. I should've seen it coming but somehow I didn't and now I'm distracted by all the wrong things.