Epsilon [Werewolf]

Chapter 30

Everything was bright -- too bright. I winced as the white light seared my retinas, blinding me. I gagged as the stench of disinfectants and metals assaulted my senses, and I cursed my werewolf nose. Thankfully the place -- wherever it was -- was silent.

I took a few moments for my eyes to adjust. It was then I realized that I was in the infirmary -- with a wafer-thin mattress at my arse and white screens shielding either side of me. Unaware of my surroundings, I didn't even know there was another person in the room until a voice growled out from beside me. 

"What in god-loving heavens was that?"

I whirled, my eyes widening as they fell upon the looming figure of Zion. He was sitting on the black chair to my side, his arms folded across his broad chest. His green eyes narrowed as they regarded me, a permanent scowl creasing his forehead.

I blinked, trying to recall how I'd wound up here, and why Zion was so mad at me. It took me a moment to remember what had happened between me and Azure. I noticed the small bandage on Zion's arm, and guilt filled me as I realized that must've been where I'd struck him in the crossfire. I hung my head.

"Some girl says a few words and you snap?" he continued, snarling. "Do you really have that little control over yourself?"

I stilled, mostly because I knew what he was saying was right. Silence ensued, the tension in the air so thick one could cut it with a knife. In a fluid motion, Zion stood, his shoulder-length hair fluttering with the motion. "I'm trying Epsilon; I really am."

He started to pace around my bed. I tensed.

He stopped at the foot, staring at me. I had never seen such darkness in someone's eyes, let alone his. "And do you know why I tried so hard, Epsilon?"

I said nothing. Zion stared at me, waiting for an answer, and when I didn't respond, he continued, "I tried because, once upon a time, I was in your shoes!"

I blinked, recalling the conversation I'd had with Azriel.

"There was one a time when the whole pack hated me," he continued sharply. "Once a time where I was not welcome an inch near the doormat, where my supposed 'peers' had thought me better off dead."

I shivered. Those words had a ring of familiarity to them.

"No one was there for me, Epsilon -- not even a Pack Trainer!" he snapped, barely-contained anger to his tone. Though much of his rage was directed at me, I could tell he was angry at something else, too -- something beyond my understanding. "I had to train myself. I had to rise above all those who hated me. And now look at them, they're at my feet!"

He turned to me, then, eyes holding mine. "I know how it feels to be alienated, Epsilon. It was why I was so hard on you. I wanted you to fit in as best as possible -- and it worked for a while, didn't it?"

He hissed the last part before turning away on his heels. There was a definite bitterness to his tone, but there was something else there, too.

Disappointment. My heart twisted with the realization.

"And now you've ruined it. If you weren't alienated before, you sure are now, and you know what?" He turned back to me, sneering. "If you don't even have it in you to help yourself, then I sure as hell don't know how I'm supposed to help you!"

He whirled, storming towards the door. I flinched as he wrenched it open with commendable force, sparing me not a glance as he rushed out in a flutter of crimson before slamming it shut behind him. In the wake of his wrath, I was left with only the silence of my thoughts.

And the regret.

I swallowed. Our relationship — no matter how small or fragile it was — had been ruined. I'd ruined it, all because I had failed to control myself. 

I'd let him down.

I hung my head. And to think all this time I thought Zion was the jerk. I thought he had it out for me solely because he hated me, and for a while, I believed that to be true.

I looked again towards the door, recalling how upset he'd looked. But maybe I was the villain here. The revelation shot another wave of mental pain through me, and I couldn't help the traitorous tear that carved its way down my cheek. 

Stupid Kyra, I chastised myself, glaring at the IV drip that had been wedged into my arm. Stupid, stupid Kyra!

******

~ 𝕧𝕠𝕥𝕖𝕤, 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕤 + 𝕔𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕒𝕝𝕨𝕒𝕪𝕤 𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕 ~