Red Moon Rising

27. distance

"Oh, I don't have a phone actually."

"Seriously?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Anyone who cares to talk to me is already here. I don't really leave this place on my own."

"Oh." Maybe it isn't so different from Rust Cove, then. But we still all needed to communicate with each other across the territory. And when any wolf left, we needed to be able to call them and see their location in case something happened to them. After what happened with Tasha, it became mandatory to have a phone strapped to your person if you so much as looked at the border. "Does anyone else have a phone?"

"Max and Reiner do, and Isaac." Sam drums his fingers on the counter. "You should just ask him."

I don't like asking to borrow Isaac's phone. The last time I talked with Tasha, he was so sure that trying to communicate with my family anymore would only cause hardship. And maybe he's right, maybe there really is nothing left for me to miss back home. Tasha is so much older than her age, and I don't think she really needs my support. But I still want to be there for her. Good job you've done of that. I need to at least smooth things over from last time, if I can. I've left two weeks of silence between us that will force a bigger gap in our relationship.

"Ask me what?"

Isaac is standing in the doorway, gaze flicking between Sam and me. I don't even know if he realizes that he does it, but Sam shifts imperceptibly away, and when he does it fills me with a sinking feeling, like even my relationship with him is somehow defined by Isaac. I'm not used to this sort of pack hierarchy; it seems to keep things running smoothly here, but there's something frustratingly macho about it. But then, I don't know that I act any differently around Isaac. I think I submit a little in his presence too.

"I was wondering if I could borrow your phone." The question shouldn't make me as nervous as it does. But I know how he feels about this topic, and I don't want him to view me as weak or stuck in the past.

"Layla, you know what your family is going to say if you call again."

"I don't know, and it's just my sister. I just want to fix things from the last time we talked."

"You aren't going to fix things until you obey the council."

"Tasha isn't like that; she's not going to bring it up again."

"You seriously believe that?"

"Look, I know my sister better than you do."

"You don't need them anymore—calling is just going to make you feel worse."

Something in his hard, level gaze makes me flush. He thinks I'm pathetic for wanting to talk to her; he thinks I want to crawl back to them. Fuck it all, maybe I am pathetic, but I can't just stop talking to my sister because I'm afraid Isaac will notice how small I feel. I'm sure he already knows; I'm sure that's part of our dynamic. I'm a small thing in his shadow and we both understand that, we both easily inhabit our roles

But it's different when Sam is here to witness it. I'm too aware of the way he tries to not look at either of us, ladling tomatoes out of the boiling water as if he can't hear any of our conversation. For some reason, it gives me a pit in my stomach to think of anyone else, especially someone I respect, seeing me as something less than I am. But maybe I'm already a little less than I think I am.

Isaac slips around the counter and wraps an arm across my shoulder, leaning in to press a kiss to my temple. His fingers squeeze my arm, reassuring me, promising his warmth despite our conversation.

"I'm going into town for a bit and I'll need my phone. We can talk about this later, okay?"

I can't help but sink into that embrace, that hard exterior that only seems to yield for me. There's something wicked and special and lovely about having the softness of someone like him when no one else does.

"Okay," I agree, and I'm thankful at least that he isn't going to say anything else in front of Sam. I think that Isaac has just told me "no" in as gentle a way as he can manage, and I don't want him to say it overtly in front of anyone else. It's a little humiliating to be denied a privilege from another adult, especially with an audience, but I'm not pathetic enough to just accept that verdict. He doesn't know my life, my family—he barely even knows me. But I'm not going to push back in front of Sam because I understand the dynamic that he has with the rest of the pack. What Isaac says, goes. I know too well the consequences of disrupting the set way of things.

XX

Happy 2022! This is my favorite time of year honestly; I love being able to reset and start new goals. A lot of my goals this year are writing related too, so hopefully you'll see the fruit of that!