"one more heartache and I'll probably lose it.." I pray. "So no more, I'm begging"
To break my bones from the fall of my being. I lost so much when I fell into this hellhole of an existence. I can't wash off the doubt, the fear, the constant feeling that's eating me alive.
And when I close my eyes and look at all my parts that broke, to piece them back together to make me feel whole, I keep swallowing that feeling.
The always sickening feeling in my stomach, to my mouth, to my tongue. The nauseating feeling I've hidden.
And for the first time in a while, I remembered the most heartbreaking thing of all, I felt a sudden crack in my entire being that I was in a flight of saving myself. I'm in deep fear.
And I detached myself from that feeling.
"No more" I prayed.
And I never remembered that. But I feel like it's catching up, slowly crawling into my skin, whispering that I have to remember.
'Face me' it whispered. 'You have to remember'
And I prayed, "No more"
I prayed. Again and again and again and again.
And again.
Holding onto myself. To never remember, to never feel. No more. No more, I'm begging.
