Alive.
I took a deep breath as I close my eyes.
The cold water silently engulfed my body and I froze at a certain place, a certain memory.
I am in my ocean, where all that I am exists and here you are—
Alive and laughing.
In the alleyway where you held my hands whispering promises to me, you felt alive.
And I wish the younger me embraced you at that certain time. I don't remember other memories with you, only this alleyway. The small dark alley where we stood together, just the both of us, hands tied together. And after you whispered those words to me, you laughed. It echoed.
And I repeat.
We walked, hands tied together. You pushed me against the wall, and whispered those words to me. You laughed, it echoed. Repeat.
We're walking. Hands tied together. It was an alley near an abandoned church. There were little holes against the building and you shouted in it, it echoed.
You whispered the scary history as to why it was abandoned and I stood against the wall, scared.
You laughed. It echoed.
And you noticed.
Still with our hands tied together, you brushed the hair on my face and you whispered those words to me.
And I—
I wish I didn't let go. I wish I kept holding on. Tied to you.
And Repeat.
Regrets.
Whenever I remember this certain memory with you where you left me those simple words that brightened up my world, I wish I can stay here forever with you. You felt alive as I recall memories with you. You were the first, the very first who saw what I am and loved me as I am.
You believed in me, and didn't see me as a nuisance.
Even after those days that you wished to see me and I didn't go, you still believed that I will one day, will see you.
You felt alive in my Ocean.
As this place echoes with the sound you made on that alleyway, I wish I didn't let go.
