Eli & Juno

After

"I can believe I'm actually leaving," I say, speaking softly.

"Yeah," Juno replied, "somehow I always thought some guardian angel might appear and let me keep you."

I let out half a laugh. It's not funny. Not really.

I look back at the house. A three story Victorian home I took for granted. This. This was home. Not the doublex in Madrid, or the flat in Mexico, or the rental in Quebec, or the hotel in Italy, or even London. This is home. Was home. It's empty now. No trace of the Ruewen's ever living there except for the gardens.

Last week, everyone came over for a going away party. I didn't cry then either. Not even during the toast when Mrs. Laurier gave a speech. Instead, Poe, Noelle, Zo, Juno, Cassel and I went outside to the backyard with a spare tyre we found in the garage. We set up a tyre swing for the next family, laughing until we thought our lungs might burst. And then we had a toast of our own.

How was I ever going to leave this place? Would I just drive away? Drive and drive and drive but somehow always feel like I never left, until someday, it was less than a memory.

One day. That's all I really had left.

"Are you worried?"

I shake my head. Tears choke my words. "I'm so scared, Juno. I don't want to pretend anymore. I just want to be me."

"So be you. I love you."

"The world doesn't."

"But they will."

I shake my head mutely.

"Hey," Juno says, lacing his fingers with mine. "Them and their judgement, it can wait till tomorrow."

I look back at him. I never want to look away. My vision blurs with sadness. I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave. I never want to leave.

He squeezes my hand gently. I squeeze back.

I smile a little. It feels real. Like a shred of happiness among our crumbling world.

Once upon a time, I thought it was me against the world. That I would spend my entire life beating against the waves, fighting the current, until it eventually pulled me under. How wrong I had been. Why had I ever settled for being alone, when so many people were on my side?

Our lives were just beginning. Maybe we would spend them together, up in our little slice of the world. Or maybe we wouldn't. But that was alright. We would always be under the same stars, remembering that same coffee and those same pair of skates. In the end, we were just us. No capes, no magic, no miracles.

How had I ever been ashamed of something so beautiful?

I like to believe in parallel universes, which would mean there are infinite versions of us. There's a Juno and Eli who never met, and a world where we would be together forever. But, in the end, I wouldn't trade this for anything.

I like this version of us.

Juno and Eli.

I'm starting to like the sound of that.

Eli and Juno.