LOVE IS NOT OVER YET JIKOOK

Chapter 2: the one who broke your heart

"Jikook, c'mon," I offered my hand and he took it, raising his with all his might just to reach mine. I chuckled then lowered my hand so he could take it easily, as we both strolled outside of the apartment we were renting.

Yes I named him Jikook, I don't exactly know why. But somehow, I felt a little remorse over the guy who broke my heart without even looking back, the guy who left me and his unborn son without even having the decency to check how I was after that dreaded day or even just for the past few years. Yes, I felt guilty in some way because he'll never become a father to a son he'll never know, and the least I could do – the least I could do as what seemed like a consolation, was giving a name with a hint of him – a name that somehow was part of him, and thus, Jikook.

It was both of our names together, cheesy, I know.

But he was the one who coined that.

It was on our third month of dating. We were silently watching the stars outside, under the moonlight that shone brightly against our skin. And as we gazed at each other with great fondness, he smiled that reached his eyes and my heart wanted to leapt out of my chest at the sigh of him so ethereal, like he was someone that didn't belong here because his beauty was unworldly. He took my fingers to his hand, my fingers taking the spaces in between his hands and suddenly I was not an endless gap anymore as I have found my greatest companion and here we were intertwining our fingers. The night flew with us whispering sweet nothings and spending our youth talking about our future that was undecided, that was not definite. Yet, we somehow establish something resolute during that moment, how we were too perfect; it was almost unbelievable. How we were being ourselves, and how we were called Jikook - it was the trend he reasoned out, the trend that people joining syllables of their names together to create a ship name, I laughed. Though, I find the idea incredulous, I couldn't help but feel my heart fluttering at the little idea he came up with.

He was too sweet and too perfect for me.

And maybe that's why.

He was too perfect; that he wasn't real anymore. That he was too perfect and maybe I don't deserve him and that we weren't exactly made for each other as how we thought and ought to believe but at least, the brief history of us, the brief moment of us, turned to something I could cherish forever.

Our son,

our beautiful son.

And I would never ever trade him away, I would never even turn back time no matter how many heart aches I could've save myself from, my son was the sweetest fruit out of that bitter ending and heart-wrenching separation.

"Appa, will you buy me a cotton candy today?" He suddenly asked; we were meters away from the coffee shop. Really, the coffee shop was a blessing for the both of us. It was near the apartment we were renting, and it provides me enough for our daily needs. It was sufficient for our needs, but I take on some on-call jobs when needed especially now that Jikook's growing up and will need money to enter primary school.

From all the part-time jobs I took before, I gained friends and these friends talk to me when they needed an extra or helping hand. But as of now, being a barista/cashier was enough for me. It gives me more time with my son and was literally efficient in all aspect.

"Is that all you want, baby boy?"

He cocked his head; contemplating what answer should he give me. But he just smiled and nodded his head, "Yep."

"Then, I will. Don't worry, baby. Appa will buy you other more if you see other things that you like, just ask."

Jikook just nodded his head, and pulled me closer as we were literally near the coffee shop's entrance. He's too excited.