Stars in your eyes

Chapter 9

/Alexander's side/

All week Jake didn't talk to him. It's almost like he's avoiding him. The only time they would talk to each other is if they had to team up for some school work but that's all. After the weekend they had, why is he starting to act so differently? It's like what happened this weekend actually never happened. They were getting closer on Friday and on Saturday Alexander realized that he was actually in love with with Jake. After all the moments they had spent together, he just decide to ignore him like nothing happened? What was going on in his mind? It's starting to get suspicious. At the same time Alexander is getting worried because, maybe Jake isn't feeling well. Maybe he got heart broken by someone and doesn't want to talk about it? Since they're so close to each other, that would be pretty strange that Jake didn't talk about it, but sometimes you need space when you're feeling a bit sad. Or maybe Jake saw that Alexander was actually acting too affectionate towards him that weekend and he wants to take his distance because he felt that it was wrong? So many thoughts and confusion. He hates seeing Jake feeling sad and ignoring him. He just wish he could hug him. His arms are so warm and comforting. Since Alexander is usually the one talking more about his feeling to Jake, maybe Jake could talk about his too. He feels anxious for their friendship. He could have decided to avoid him at school because he feels weird about being with Alexander, or even worse because he felt like Alexander was getting too close and he's not into guys. That too is a problem, we can't determine his sexuality. What if he's not into guys and they can't never be friends anymore because he thinks it's wrong? He doesn't know that Alexander loves him and care about him more than a friend could. But he don't want to scare him by telling him his feelings while he's so distance. He just wish he could hug Jake and told him how much he want to see his radiant smile again.

This evening Alexander and his friend Miley, went out to a park to hangout. They just had ice cream and started talking more about their personal lives. Miley knows already that he's into guys and in love with his best friend. After all so far, she's the only person he can tell that. Not his family, it's too risky. And certainly not Jake for now. He's still trying to understand how he can make things work out with Jake.
-I just want him to talk to me. I hate seeing him like this. He's been so distance the whole week.
-You should let him time. Who knows, he might feel the same thing but is too shy to tell you.
-After years of friendship, I probably think I'm the only one to feel like this. Anyway he might not be into guys at all.
-Maybe he do, but since you guys never talked about each other's sexuality, that's why he don't open up about it.
-Maybe.
He let out a sigh and rest his head on his hand.
-No matter what happened, at least if you let your feelings out, it would give you a certain relief.
-I just don't know when I'm going to tell him that.
-Since you guys have not been talking to much, when do you guys actually talk the most for now?
-Usually in class for some team work but that's all.
-You should tell him right after this class. Just look at him in the eyes and tell him exactly how you feel. Even if he don't feel the same don't put pressure on both of you, you can be proud of yourself because you did something courageous.
-Yeah. That's true. But what are my parents going to say about that?
-You don't need to tell them anything about that, it's part of your personal life after all. You can tell them when you're ready. If they don't support you, you know you can come to my house whenever you need.
He smiles to Miley. She was the only other person who could understand him with Jake. But since this situation includes Jake, it's quite complicated, so he know he can count on her. He hugs her and she gently taps his back to comfort him. At least he can let out other parts of his life to her.

/Jake's side/

It's around 9pm, Jake is usually in his room. But since he's been feeling down for a few days he need some fresh air. He leaves his house to go on a walk. He's not the person to take a lot of walks, but right now he really needs it to clear up his mind. The last time he took a walk was a few months ago. He took the same directions as the last time. It's a bit dark outside so he told himself he will go back home when he arrives at the park near his house. He didn't pay much attention of where he was going the walk, he was looking up in the sky looking at the stars while walking. It reminded him of on Friday when him and Alexander looked at the starts in the sky. That's when he fell in love with him. After thinking about that he quickly look in front of him to not think about it anymore. After all, he's here to clear up his mind and not think about stuff like that. After a few steps, he's in front of the park. He's actually behind a bush, but he don't need to go further. Where on the bench of the park, even with the darkness, he can distinct those two people he see in front of the school almost each day. They're here again doing the same thing they did when he saw them for the first time. Hugging. She's patting his back and he's hugging her softly. His eyes gets blurry, from the wind in his eyes, the darkness or the tears? Maybe all of that. He don't have the time to think about anything else but going back to his home immediately. Where he could go back to writing his feelings on a piece of paper about the lover he would never have.