Stars in your eyes

Chapter 12

/Jake's side/

For several days Alexander and Jake hardly spoke to each other. Jake was going his homework on his own at his desk in his room near where his notebook is treasured. He stopped writing in it for a while. Journaling was not his style, but since he was going through difficult situations, he needs to express his emotions. It's hard sometimes without Alexander. He used to do almost everything with him. The last time Alexander came to his house was several days ago now, when he told him he had to take a moment to think about all this and that for a while it would be good if they do their own things without necessarily talking to each other. That's a lot to take in for Jake, but at least he isn't jealous anymore, and after all Alexander didn't never said that he didn't love him. They just need time, but it feels like their little break is taking forever.

/Alexander's side/
Now that him and Jake agreed on taking a break from talking to each other, he's back at his home more often. The situation didn't really changed but it seems a little bit more calm. His mother talked about the situation with his father. Apparently he's gonna try to have a talk with her soon so they can discuss about how they can make things work so she don't sneak out and he don't ground her anymore. But he know his father. It might not be that easy to make him communicate with his sister. Alexander is more close to his mom than his dad, but if he had to compare with his sister, he is closer with his dad than she is. Meaning that the only option left is that he talk to his father on his own. After all, he's only a year younger than his sister and it's been a while since he didn't talk to his father one on one, and right now that's only subject they could talk about. He want to talk to him as well because he could have a chance to talk to him about his addiction. Of course it's not a subject that his father likes to talk about. But he wants to have a conversation with him about it since the whole family is affected by his addiction. He has become cold and distant, he only argue with his sister and sometimes his mother. At the same time of talking about the situation of his sister, he would like to talk to him about that. He shouldn't be the one giving his father a sermon on this, but rather a psychologist or something like that. But he knows his father will never want to ask for professional help because he won't admit that he's not feeling well. Alexander his the person whom he argue the least with because, he never showed any signs that his father would consider "rebellious". He never had a relationship with anyone. Well not yet. And he does what he's told because he knows that his dad will get angry if he don't. He's more of the quiet type who doesn't talk too much in his family. He's more extroverted but with his family far from that. He never really dares to talk too much and try to take an interest in no one's personal life. But since his father's health affects his family, he must initiate a conversation with him. His father was at the dinning table. He approached him slowly and engaged the conversation by asking how his day has been. Pretty normal. And after he eventually asked how things between him and his sister was.
-Teenagers these days... I don't want her to sneak out to see her boyfriend anymore. It's completely absurd.
-Yeah, I understand that.
-Thought about that, I don't even know him. Why would she sneak out to see someone I don't even know? I don't like the fact she's seeing someone in secret.
-Well maybe I was thinking she could invite him for dinner one time? Alexander asks trying to force a smile to convince his father.
-Yeah, well.. Maybe not right now, I don't think I'm really in the mood to receive any guests. I'm still trying to find a work and it.. kinda stress me out to be honest. So maybe in a few weeks around Christmas when all the family is here, yes we could probably receive him.
-Alright.
Alexander was about to go upstairs to go back in his room when he bumped into his sister. She had been in staircase the whole time. Meaning she heard everything.

/Jake's side/
November 24
It's been almost 2 weeks now since me and Alexander took a "break". It's weird to not see my best friend anymore. Even tho in my eyes he's way more than that. Even my mother started asking me how me and Alexander had been and I said that we got into a fight and we chose to not speak to each other for a while. She seemed worried at first, but after she hugged softly me to comfort me. I can't tell her the real reason why me and him are not talking to each other anymore. Even if my parents have supported me in almost everything, I'm too scared to tell them about my sexuality. And even more that I'm in love with my best friend. I just don't want to disappoint them. What I'm about to say might feel weird but actually sometimes being away from Alexander makes me work on myself more. Like doing self care stuff. Journaling for exemple, as I'm doing now. But I only use this journal to talk about him so.. But at least this is a healthy way to let out my feelings since I can't really tell that to anyone. Besides journaling I'm trying to find another healthy way to pass time and think about something else. I've heard at school that's there's going to be a trip in a few days to go skiing. Skiing is something I know Alexander isn't really into, he prefers soccer or other sports. So I know that if I sign up to go there, my mind can be at ease and I will focus more on myself and won't be distracted my anything. Yeah that actually sounds like a good plan.