The Target: A Sequel to Hwarang: The Saga of the Sooks Book #6

Chapter 29: An Unfathomable Proposition

He couldn't face her yet. It hurt too much to see all his dreams go up in smoke. He had absolutely no idea how to reach her. Or how to overcome the pain of her past.

One thing puzzled him, though. She had suffered sexual abuse as a child. Yet she had gone on to marry and birth two children. So she must have been able to tolerate her husband's touch. So why couldn't she stomach the idea of Yeo Wool touching her?

Had her experiences in the marriage bed been so unsavory that she was forever repulsed by the idea of marrying again?

That must be it. And if it were, how could he possibly change her mind?

He decided to stop trying. And to give himself time to heal.

If he couldn't have her as his wife, then he must become content with mere friendship. But how was he to turn his heart away from her? For him, that would be as hard to do as choosing to no longer breathe would be. Though he might wish to stop drawing breath, his body's will to live always overcame any desire to cease existing. Likewise, though he might wish to stop loving Sam Sook, his heart's will to adore her overcame every single one of his intentions.

And then there were her children. He loved them both. So very much. And they needed a father. He knew how badly they needed an appa. From his own experience, he understood that need.

But right now, they were growing up without a father. And he couldn't help but believe that if they'd had one, then perhaps Se Ri wouldn't have been abused. Maybe Moon Won would have been put off by the possibility of having to face Se Ri's father. Perhaps he never would have touched the girl if he had had to consider being confronted by an irate appa.

She'd been left vulnerable – just as Yeo Wool had – because she was fatherless.

He might not be able to change Sam Sook's heart towards him. But he had it within his power to do something for her daughters. And now that he realized it, he saw only one way forward.

––

He did not return for a week. Every night she glanced out the window and wondered where he was. And how he was. And if his heart was still breaking.

All she knew for sure was that her own was.

But there was nothing she could do about it.

However, in the meantime, with each passing day, she grew to miss him more. Until she felt that she could barely breathe again. This time because she feared that he had perhaps deserted her. And she was learning how very much she had come to depend upon him.

No, it was more than that.

She had come to...love him.

––

Finally, he returned one evening and invited her on another walk. After several minutes of silence, he turned to address her. Abruptly.

"Sam Sook, I'm not exactly sure what role you'd be comfortable fulfilling in my life. Or what role you'd like me to fill, but I—"

"I want you to be the one who lends me strength," she breathed suddenly.

"You would let me?" he answered abruptly.

"You are the only man I would allow to," she affirmed.

"What does that mean exactly?"

She was silent.

"That we are friends?"

She bobbed her head at him. "Mmm."

She saw disappointment clouding his gaze. He heaved a deep sigh as he turned away from her. "Friends," he whispered. Then he bent his head and walked onwards. Still chewing on his proposal. The one which he'd heretofore lacked the courage to speak aloud.