The Politician's Biggest Mistake (Flame Series #1)

42

"Mama, stop crying na, please?"

I am wiping my eyes like I'm trying to stop the waters coming out from a broken faucet. Halos hindi na 'ko huminga sa sobrang galit at sama ng loob.

"Mama, p-please... I don't how to stop your tears, Mama. Stop crying na, please," Apollo said and then, his voice broke.

I looked at his black eyes helplessly. I am fully aware that I look like a mess right now, but I don't care. I pulled him for a hug. Ibinaon ko ang aking mukha sa kaniyang tiyan.

I sobbed and cried so loud. Apollo started panicking, again. Agad siyang lumayo sa 'kin bago nagpakawala ng malalim na buntong-hininga.

"Mama, dala naman natin bag ko sa school, 'di ba? 'Yong English notebook ko, nasa bag ko, 'di ba?"

I can't speak so I just nodded my head. He showed me a small smile before nodding. "What can I do to make you stop from crying, Mama?"

"Just... Just stay by my side, what do you think?" I asked him with my broken voice. "Dito ka lang."

"Do... Mama, don't get mad, but... D-Do you miss Papa? O kahit minsan ba, naisip mo siya?"

Mas nagusot ang mukha ko at mas bumigat ang aking paghinga. I was shocked with his sudden question, but I have no time to think about that. I nodded then new set of tears ran down my eyes.

Yumuko ako at pumikit. Tumatango-tango ako kay Apollo. "Y-Yes... I-I miss your Papa and yes... He's occupying my mind every single day like he's renting it."

"Really, 'Ma?" he asked me. "I'm pretty sure he misses you too."

Matapos iyon ay hindi na siya nagsalita pa at ganoon din ako. Ilang sandali pa ay narinig ko na lang ang yabag niya papalayo. Naglakad siya pabalik sa kuwarto at iniwan ako.

I can't believe and this is so hard to admit, but after all these years, I'm not yet over him. I'm not yet satisfied with the number of months we spent together. I'm not yet moved on. I still love him and I don't think I even tried unloving him. He's just... He's just so hard to let go.

He loved me and made me feel safe inside his warm arms. Sa loob ng halos anim na taon, I never dated any guy. Magsisinungaling ako kung sasabihin kong hindi ko naisip makipag-date sa iba pero kahit ano ang gawin ko, hanggang isip lang ako. I never tried dating other guys. Wala akong mahanap na mas better o puwedeng itapat kay Ian. He just set my standards so high and fuck him for that. He's so freaking rare— o baka siya lang ang nag-iisang ganoon. Iisa lang si Ian Acoza. Wala na 'kong mahanap na katulad niya.

I am missing every single thing about him. But when I saw him after almost six years, my heart just blew and my mind started to think about impossible yet possible things he might do. I don't think he'll steal my son away from me. He won't do that! But what if he would? It's better to be safe.

Natahimik ako at natigil sa pag-iyak sa 'di maipaliwanag na rason. Natulala ako hanggang sa bigla kong naalala si Kuya Azrael na naging sanhi kung bakit naiyak na naman ako.

Kuya Azrael, fuck you! I hate you so much! You know that I wasn't yet forgiving you with all my heart, but you still chose to die. You chose to go with the light. Are you that tired that you chose to rest forever, Kuya? Are you that tired that you chose to hurt me, again... So bad?

Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na buntong-hininga, I'm trying to control my voice. I don't wanna shout, that's not what I wanna do.

After ten minutes, Apollo ran from my room. He's smiling yet I know that he's not fine. Who would even feel fine if you know that you're Mom is crying, right?