Always, Alice

She Might Wait

The steam from their lattes rose between them as they sat across from one another, the same table they sat at the very first day they had met. The fire was roaring in the corner of the room creating a cosy and warm atmosphere for families and couples who sat enjoying their sweet treats. Harry was so relieved Alice had agreed to have coffee with him. He had missed her terribly - these past few days had been hell. He hadn't meant what he had said, the panic he was feeling at the thought of losing her had taken over his mind - he would have said anything to make everything okay again.

Over the last few days he had continued to hunt for jobs. Jobs in schools, jobs in nurseries, jobs in shops, anything that was going, alas, there was nothing. Jobs he did find wouldn't be enough for him to live off or had already gone to someone else by the time he had sent in an application. He wanted to keep his little house and be able to stay close to Alice - but still, the only offer he had was back down in Holmes Chapel. He didn't want to move back in with his mum at twenty eight, but it was his only choice right now.

'Alice I'm so sorry,' Harry started, 'I didn't mean what I said the other night - I mean, I meant it when I said come with me, I didn't mean what I said about -' he trailed off, wishing he had practiced his words before this moment had occurred. Alice reached across the table for his hand, taking it in hers. Harry felt warmth spread through his body - her touch was like medicine, curing the sadness that had become so incredibly overwhelming.

'I'm the one that should be sorry,' she said to him, Harry looked away from their hands and up at her, slightly confused at what she could ever be sorry for.

'You have nothing to be sorry for,' he said quickly.

'No I do - I was hurt. I shouldn't have asked you to leave the other night. Of course I know you didn't mean what you said, it was just in the heat of the moment,' she replied, her thumb stroking the back of his hand. Harry watched her as she took a deep breath and looked down at their hands. He could tell she was nervous - he could tell she was worried.

'Harry I -,' Alice started before seeming to lose confidence. He squeezed her hand in his, encouraging her to go on. She looked back up at him, her eyes damp. 'Harry I can't leave this village - not now anyway,' she breathed out slowly. He felt his heart shatter, it's not what he had wanted to hear, even though he was expecting it.

'This is my home Harry. I love you so much but I'm not ready to leave, I'm just starting to feel okay again.' She took another deep breath as she continued. 'I don't want to give up my house, it's the place I feel closest to my mum. I'm - I'm scared that if I move away then the last physical part of her I have is gone. I'm not ready to give that up yet,' tears began to stream down her face, he kept his eyes on hers, not wanting to interrupt her. Without thinking he lifted his hand to her cheek, brushing away her tears with his thumb. He hated seeing her so upset, he hated that he was the reason why. She leaned into his touch, her eyes closed as they sat quiet for a moment.

The cafe was just loud enough that no one could hear their conversation. Children were laughing, coffee machines buzzed as they made orders and the fire crackled in the background.

'Im sorry Alice,' Harry finally said, 'I wish this wasn't happening - I wish I could stay.' He could feel a lump in his own throat, the room becoming too warm, his heart finally close to breaking.

'Maybe this is the real new start for you,' she said and Harry looked at her, the deep frown line between his eyes becoming more prominent.

'What do you mean?' he asked.

'Maybe this is your fresh start, this...these past few months were to give you a chance to see what you really want Harry,' she said slowly, Harry still can't understand what she means.