Long and cute⚠️
[ OLIVER]
The night fell quickly upon us.
Took chairs and placed them outside, Hazel came with hot coco mugs, we have marshmallows and a fire
- What do you mean you never tried, for real?
- Yes I'm serious I never tried, is it good?- She questioned cleaning the corners of her mouth with her tongue.
- It is. Would you like to try?
- Yes please.- Taught her how to cook the marshmallow perfectly ready to try with cookies and when we do it her eyes burst open wide
- It's very hot!- her face turned out to be from panic, I ran and bring water to her and when she drinks I feel guilty
- Are you alright? This wasn't a good idea, o my God! - Surprisingly she starts giggling and laughing out loud.
- It wasn't cold, I'm alright and this is...
- Are you serious ? Gosh I thought you had burned yourself- I breathe in relief- Thank God you are okay.
- you are very beautiful and sweet, thank you. - She carriers my face with tenderness in her eyes, I smile back and return to my seat
- It's very very good, I like this American thing.- I laugh
- Welcome to America.- I say. the night is slightly cold and empty all over around
- Do you wanna play? The same old question games- I dare to ask.
- I like the same old question game, bring it on!- Her excitement answers.
I read the question in my hands and pause, she consistently stares at me burning me with her gaze, beyond the sweetest eyes. Insecure with the powerful and perhaps very personal question written in the little card, I wonder if I should really, read it.
-Is it your fear of commitment or your fear of intimacy that makes you shut down more?
- Commitment, I'm afraid to be used, to be forgotten to be left out and die alone but I can't surrender easily and... Willingly? It takes me along time to be committed to a relationship I know it sounds wrong but the felling of being tame down and...is not what I want no more, after Ben I'm terrified of being committed. And you?
- Intimacy, I- It takes me along Time to trust , I may love soon but trust comes later, I give my emotions and exposed them raw as they are but I can't get involve into a physic level early, little touches or even kisses makes me shut down and over think
- I understand you.
- Next question is yours.
-What chance encounter changed your life forever?
- 2018 I went to workshop ceremony in Melbourne , on the way back the return flight, the plane lost one of the engines, the motor died and the other got weaker every minute ,the turbulence was a complete nightmare. The masked dropped and I swear I had a... Heart attack that seemed to be a panic, anxiety attack. I weighted a little more than 210 kilos, during the violent turbulence I got stuck , I was literally stuck in the chair, with breathing issues and feeling my heart being stabbed, three hours later the pilot warn us the plane could crush any given minute.
I saw my life passing through my eyes, I could see every problem, issue and memories I have accumulated over the years and it destroyed me to see that... it was empty. No joy, no laughter, no adventures. Just people gossiping and staring when I walked by, people judging me with sky pointy nose . I was new at the hospital, one year and half as a nurse and I was going to die, as an overly heavy obese man stuck in the airplane seat.
DU LIEST GERADE
BARROW ME A SHELTER
Jugendliteratur-Look at me! Look at my body and don't you dare to lie and say that is normal. People look at me like I was a disease, a contagious disease who gets attached to you, like a virus, travels through your body burns your hope, range shots your dreams...
