If You So Desire (sequel to Turn... and Walk Away)

Chapter 26

A/N: The image above does not belong to me. It belongs to the person who uploaded it on the internet.

Tul's POV

I was surprised to find out that the young man whom I had bumped into was the nephew of our building manager.

I would see him almost every night when I came back from work somewhere in the vicinity of the parking lot. He would either nod to me in greeting or give me a shy smile but we never spoke to each other so it was not until this evening that I found out that he was the manager's nephew.

He also informed me that he was preparing to go back to the city where he lived with his mother. He was here only on a temporary basis to help his uncle with paper work.

After exchanging a few more words I told him it was a pleasure to know him and was about to turn around to take the elevator up to my unit when I felt him grab my wrist.

"Wait," he said, smiling shyly. "Is it okay if I exchange numbers with you?"

I didn't see any harm in doing so. I handed him my phone and he placed his contact number into it. Then I tapped on the number and his phone started to ring.

"Thank you so much," he said, quickly adding my number to his contact list. "Have a wonderful evening, Tul."

"You do the same now," I replied before pressing on the service button of the elevator.

When I entered my unit, for some reason the silence that greeted me made me feel very lonely.

I longed so much for the feel of Max's arms around me. I wanted him to make love to me and me to him just like in the good old days when everything was fine and magical and we never questioned our love for each other. These days I have been asking myself whether Max ever really loved me or not. Judging by the presence of that handsome young man holding on to Max's elbow back there at the restaurant, it looked very much like he had found someone to replace me in his life.

I wondered though why he ended his evening date too early because he suddenly made an appearance at the manager's office just as I was issuing a check payment for next month's rent. Was he there to try to pay the rent? He didn't need to because he wasn't living in our unit anymore.

The conscious acceptance of the reality that Max no longer lived with me in our unit released all the hot tears that I had kept back up until now.

I bent and held on to the kitchen sink as I let the tears flow freely. Then I straightened up. This wouldn't do. Max had decided to live his own life away from me. I had to learn to do the same. I had to accept the fact that the man I loved never ever really loved me from the start.

With grim determination, I walked over to the refrigerator and looked around for stuff that I could put together to make myself a decent evening meal.

Shit, my refrigerator was almost empty. I had been so engrossed with carrying out the tasks and responsibilities of my job that it had not occurred to me to do any marketing after office hours.

I glanced at my watch. There was no time to do any shopping and cooking this evening. I decided to go to the nearest restaurant to order a take out.

As I stepped out of the elevator I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten to check my mailbox for incoming mail. It was the end of the month. For sure there would be the usual utility bills meant for the following month that needed to be paid.

I opened my mailbox and sure enough there were several envelopes mostly from the electric company, my internet provider, my car insurance company and several other bills. I grabbed them all, unaware that a piece of folded paper that had been with the envelopes had fallen to the ground.

I started walking towards the parking lot and was about to go down the flight of stairs leading to it when I heard someone calling my name.

I turned around. It was Santa the manager's nephew.

He was walking fast towards me, his hand outstretched, holding out a piece of folded paper.

"I was walking out of my uncle's office and saw this from afar falling out of your hand," he said."Did you not notice it?"

"No," I said. "But thank you so much for taking the trouble to pick it up and handing it to me."

"No problem at all," he said with a smile. "Always happy to be of service to you."

"Thank you again," I said, ruffling his hair like I would a little brother.

"Hey," he protested. "Don't do that. I'm not a kid."

"Oh sorry," I said. "I won't do it again."

He smiled and bowed before turning away.

I walked over to my car and while still at a distance pressed my car key to unlock it and to start the engine.

I did not drive from the parking lot right away. I got curious what the folded paper was all about. Perhaps it was some advertisement from some neighbor offering their services of some sort or other.

Dearest Tul, love of my life, the note began.

That sneaky kid Santa had cleverly pretended that the note had fallen from my hands when in reality he wanted to give his love letter to me. How was I going to let him down gently, the poor dear.