If You So Desire (sequel to Turn... and Walk Away)

Chapter 25

A/N: The image above does not belong to me. It belongs to the person who uploaded it on the internet.

ALSO, THE AUTHOR WOULD LIKE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE CONTRIBUTION OF READER  pg0004  without whose idea this particular chapter would not have been possible. So to reader  pg0004  THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤❤❤

Third Person POV

Max could no longer just stand by watching Tul and that young guy whoever he was, continue to interact animatedly with each other.

He decided that he was just going back to Debbie's place and think out a plan as to how to be able to talk to Tul without Tul running away from him. This evening Max was going to listen to Tul's mother's advice to just leave him alone for now.

So that Tul would not think that Max was going to stop and talk to him, Max walked very fast in the direction of the parking lot but in doing so, he had to walk past Tul and the young man who was talking to him.

The passageway was narrow.  Max did not mean to bump hard into the young man, however, he did not stop to say anything in case Tul mistook it to mean that Max wanted to stop and talk to him.

"Hey, watch where you're going, asshole!" he heard the young man call after him.

Max was tempted to stop and tell him to stay away from Tul but decided to just keep going. There was nothing to be gained from offending someone who was obviously a friend of Tul.

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Max's POV

"I thought you were coming back late this evening," Debbie turned around from the kitchen sink where she was washing some leafy vegetables in a colander.

"I changed my mind," I told her. She didn't need to know the details of this evening's event. I was not in the mood to answer any intrusive questions.

"What are you cooking for dinner?" I asked, to take her mind off the current subject.

"Oh, I'm thinking of making chicken pieces in coconut milk and ginger and adding these baby bok choy leaves to it," she replied, shaking dry the leaves before placing them on the chopping board.

I noticed that the oven light was on.

"What's in there?" I asked pointing to the oven.

"Chicken wings marinated in teriyaki sauce," she replied.

"I can't wait," I said, suddenly feeling very hungry.

"Do me a favor and take care of cooking the jasmine rice," she requested.

"Sure," I said, happy to keep my mind off my emotional turmoil.

I regretted having eaten more than my stomach could handle.

I asked Debbie if she had anything for indigestion.

"I'm not sure if I still have some of those chewable antacid tablets," she replied, going to one of the kitchen cabinets and moving around some bottles.

She took out a transparent bottle with a bright blue lid and shook it.

"You're out of luck," she said, holding out the bottle for me to see that there were no tablets inside it.

Shit, I would have to make a quick drive to the nearest pharmacy. I wouldn't be able to sleep with my indigestion bothering me.

"I'm going out to buy a bottle of those at the nearest pharmacy," I told Debbie. "Is there anything you need from there?"

"Just get me an extra bottle to replenish this," she said.

"I will," I said, heading out the door.

When I reached the pharmacy, I had no problem finding the aisle that had shelves of different brands of antacids of liquid and tablet forms. My problem was the long line at the checkout.

I took out my phone and my earpieces and decided to listen to music while waiting for my turn to pay for my purchases.

"If you can't say it, write it

When words can't be said

They can be written out.

Write him that note

Send him that note

It might change your world completely"

Suddenly a thought struck me. Maybe that was what I needed to do. Maybe leaving a note to Tul was the best thing to do. That way there would be no fear of confrontation. Then he would not be thinking of running away from me and not giving us a chance to be together again.

Never had I felt so thankful for the lyrics of the song that I just heard. These lyrics had just saved my life.

I couldn't wait for my turn at the checkout counter.

I rushed up the to the cashier.

"Sir, I have an emergency situation right now," I begged. "Could I please pay for my purchases ahead of the others?"

She took one look at my earnest, pleading face and then announced to his customers, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have someone here who is experiencing an emergency and needs to leave but is asking to cut the line so that he can pay for his purchases. Is there anyone who has an objection to his request?"

No one said a word of protest, so she went ahead and rang up my purchase.

"Thank you, sir, thank you so much, everyone," I said before running out of the store.

I quickly got inside my car. I shook out a couple of the chewable antacids and popped them into my mouth before reaching for my note pad which I always kept in the glove compartment of my car.

With trembling hands I started writing the most emotional love letter I had written in my whole life.

Dearest Tul, love of my life,

I have done a lot of stuff to hurt you and I will admit that I do not think that I deserve your forgiveness, so with a sorrowful and repentant heart, I am approaching you with the hope that you will find it in your kind and generous heart to forgive me.

If you feel that i am a hopeless case, I will understand and accept your decision to stay away from me forever. I will somehow find a way to continue living except I know that it will not be really living.

I will never stop loving you and will only always hope for your happiness.

I tried to sign my name but everything was getting so blurry. My tears were falling nonstop.

I didn't care that I was not able to sign my name. Tul would recognize my handwriting and would know that the note was from me.

I almost hit a pedestrian on my way out of the parking lot because my vision was still blurry. I was able to hit my brakes just in the nick of time.

I wanted to speed towards our condo but I could not afford to. I would most certainly get into a car crash if I tried to drive faster than was safe for me.

I parked my car in my allotted spot of our building and walked over to the row of mailboxes. With trembling hands I dropped my note into the mailbox assigned to Tul and myself.

When that was done, I walked back to my car and got inside. I did not start my car right away. I sobbed into the steering wheel, knowing that there was a chance that he would never forgive me and that I would have to live the rest of my life in utter misery and loneliness.