If You So Desire (sequel to Turn... and Walk Away)

Chapter 20

A/N: The image above does not belong to me. It belongs to the person who uploaded it on the internet.

Max's POV

I glanced at my wrist watch. It was now close to seven in the evening. I had been waiting since a little over five in the afternoon. I had rushed out of the office as soon as my work day ended. I had briefly stopped by Debbie's desk to let her know that it might take me some time before getting back to her apartment and not to wait up for me.

Debbie eyed me warily.

"Please don't make a fool of yourself over Godt," she advised me with a look of concern all over her face. "Don't think that I did not see you and him hugging each other just below my window."

Shit, she did see me and Godt hugging that evening.

"We're not seeing each other anymore," I assured Debbie. "And please don't spread around the office what you saw that evening."

"I won't," Debbie promised. "Just please don't make any more stupid decisions. From the brief moment that I had the chance to interact with Tul I got the impression that he was a decent person. But of course you know him better than I do."

With those words Debbie turned away from me to collect her purse from the bottom drawer of her metal filing cabinet.

I stopped reminiscing over my interaction with Debbie before I had driven here to Tul's condo unit. But wait I can't just consider this as Tul's condo unit alone. Technically this was still my condo unit as well. I had not gone to the building manager to sign a termination contract. In fact before this month is over I should issue the manager a check before Tul writes out a check for the full amount of our condo monthly payment.

I glanced at my watch once more. Shit it was now a quarter past seven. Where in bloody hell was he.

I tried to convince myself that he was not on a dinner date with someone. Maybe he was just working over time. But then again I had driven over to his office building before coming here and his car was no longer in the parking lot. That meant that he either had gone home or had gone some place for dinner, either by himself or with someone. Again I tried to convince myself that probably he had just decided to have dinner at some restaurant. Maybe he was too tired or got lazy to cook dinner.

I pulled out my phone from my pocket. I tapped on his number and waited nervously for him to pick up my call.

God fucking dammit. My call got directed to his voicemail. Now I'm sure he's having dinner with someone, that rotten bastard. Maybe I should try to get back together with Godt and just risk getting fired by Siriporn.

I climbed back into my car and before starting the engine I pressed on Godt's number.

I was about to tap the red X when it looked like he wasn't going to take my call when suddenly I heard his voice but it sounded like he was whispering on the phone.

"Gimme a minute," he whispered on the phone. "I'll call you back," after which he quickly cut the call.

Enough, I told myself. Remember Debbie's advise not to make any more stupid decisions.

I drove out of the basement parking lot and made my way back to Debbie's apartment. If Tul was now happy with someone else, I was gonna go ahead and look for someone else as well, but not a married man like Godt whose husband was the nephew of our company manager no less.

Godt was trying to call me back after a minute, just as he promised, but I did not take his call, first of all because I was driving, and second of all because I had decided to keep my promise to Siriporn to not have anything more to do with him.

I heard the notification on my phone that he had left a voicemail message. I planned to delete it without bothering to listen to it.

"What happened?" Debbie asked in shock when she saw me enter the dining room of her apartment.

She and her cousin Jan were in the middle of dinner.

"Hi, Max," Jan greeted me just before sipping from a glass of what looked to me like mango juice.

"Hi ya," I returned her greeting.

Then I turned my attention to Debbie.

"I decided to follow your advice to not make any more stupid decisions," I said.

"Good for you," Debbie was delighted to hear what I said. "If you have not eaten yet, help yourself to the chicken pineapple curry that I cooked this evening. There's enough left for you in the pot that's still on the stove."

"Thanks," I said. "I'm actually very hungry right now."

For someone heartbroken you haven't lost your appetite at all, I scolded myself as I scooped a generous serving of the chicken pineapple curry over my bowl of jasmine rice which I had scooped out of Debbie's rice cooker. Both rice and chicken curry were still piping hot.

I offered to help wash the dishes after dinner but Debbie declined my offer.

"I hope you don't mind my telling you, but you look tired, Max," Debbie said, a hint of compassion creeping into her voice. "Go ahead and settle down for the night. It will be another work day tomorrow, so replenish your lost energy."

I didn't tell Debbie that the exhaustion I was feeling was not physical at all. And then again perhaps she already knew that. Debbie could be pretty discerning sometimes, or should I say most times.

After a quick shower I put on my PJs and sat on my bed. Without thinking much, I opened my laptop and typed in my password.

Then I went into the most popular and most searched online dating site of Thailand.

The fifth profile that I looked into instantly caught my attention.

A/N: The image above does not belong to me. It belongs to the person who uploaded it on the internet.

For those who might not know him, his name is Plan Rathavit Kijworaluk. He played the role of Can in the BL series Love By Chance.