Where He Belongs

~Ten~

His eyes were narrowed into untrusting slits as he took in the space between us and the fear I was portraying. "Nothing, er, Colton--"

"Leave." My voice was thick with tears, arms wrapped around my body. "You're no different from Him."

"Colton," he said, seeming astonished.

I ignored him, slipping past my father into the house, past my two brothers who were on their feet in an instant demanding to know what happened. I didn't say...couldn't say. My trust in him had been broken.

Maybe I was just overreacting but... I closed my eyes, feeling tears running down my face. I changed into my sleeping clothes, climbing into bed. I flicked off the lamp, hearing my father growling something I couldn't quite make out, but shortly after I heard Liam stumbling off the porch, no doubt from a push, and trudge off home. I pulled the covers over my head, knowing my father would come in here and demand the whole story.

But I couldn't deal with it. Not tonight at least.

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Next morning was ackward.

Everyone trying to hard to pretend last night didn't happen until my father and brothers went out to hunt before lunch, I was busy fighting the urge to vomit to do much more than worry about what existed between Liam and I--if anything--and if it was salvageable. And clean. I wiped down the table of morning crumbs, scrubbing and rescrubbing dishes. Sweeping the floors and stripping all four beds of sheets and blankets and taking them to the back porch to wash and then hang to dry them.

My mother didn't try to stop me. If anything she gave me space. She was letting me make the first move to speak which I appreciated. She came out while I was hanging the laundry and I finally spoke. "Did I overreact last night?" I asked, refusing to look away from the white sheets I was clipping to the line tethered between the porch posts.

"You tell me, Colton. I wasn't there."

"It all happened so...fast." I breathed, feeling my throat tighten with emotion. "He was k-kissing me and...I went to pull back but he didn't let me and I...bit him and then... I said he was like the wolf who raped me. That wasn't fair of me."

"Sounds to me like you two haven't touch about boundaries." She lifted a pillow case, shaking it sharply to free it of wrinkles. "I'm not defending what he did but maybe he didn't realize you weren't ready."

"Ready?" I repeated incrediously. "I'm not mated to him yet. What exactly would I be 'ready' to do?"

"It's not always about sex, Colton. He doesn't know where he can touch you, how long he can kiss you, and in what ways he can intimate with you." She clipped it up, tucking a free strand of hair behind her ear. "He also doesn't know what set you off last night."

I didn't respond for a moment. I watched the leaves shiver in a light breeze, saw a crow flying overhead, and watched a doe leap out of view in the brush a few yards away. "It was the smell," I admitted, feeling small and embarrassed. "It just...reminds me of it."

"Again I'm not taking sides, nor am I defending him, but...how would he know that unless you've told him?

I hung my head in shame. She was right. I hadn't told him about my problems with the smell of arousal, due to the simple fact I was worried it may impact our relationship. But I'd already impacted our relationship enough that maybe being honest could finally sort things out once and fall. A sort of take me as I am or not at all.

So I retired my time in laundry and boldly left the house, going right it Liam's door.

I was fighting to find the courage to knock on it when Liam tore it open. There were dark bags under his eyes and his eyes were bloodshot. He looked like hell but more than that, he looked sorry. "I overreacted," I blurted out. "I didn't mean what I said. I was just... We weren't on the same page about some things and it wasn't fair of me to expect you to just know."