The Twelfth Fatui Harbinger (Semi-Hiatus)

Chapter 14 - Heartbroken

Y/N's Point of View, back at Zapolyarny Palace

My headache still hasn't gone away. Yes, it had only been about 10 minutes since it started, but I wasn't really used to headaches and this one was annoying you like crazy.

"..."

Ignoring the few concerned looks I was getting from the other Fatui in the castle, I trudged up to my room and flopped down on my bed, utterly exhausted. I was in for a long-due nap.

Closing my eyes, I willed myself to fall asleep. Luckily, my brain was tired enough to shut down and I soon fell fast asleep.

I guess some would call it a good sleep, but I would completely disagree. The entire night I dreamed of the most horrendous things that plagued my brain even after I woke up some hours later.

In my dreams, I saw flashbacks of my past. The one that had been erased so carefully by Dottore's special potion.

Traveling to Mondstadt from Khaner'iah.

Chasing Kaeya and Diluc around and around on bright summer days.

Fighting Ursa the Drake.

Leaving the Ragniver house.

Getting into the Knights of Favonius.

Meeting Lumine and Paimon.

Being kidnapped by Scaramouche and his agents.

Seeing my destroyed vision.

Being forced to drink the memory alteration potion.

With a shaky gasp, I awoke from my disturbing nightmare. Clutching my chest, my heart beating fast, I tried to calm down, to no avail.

How could you calm down after suddenly remembering your lost past?

No one could.

Getting up, I shakily walked to the door and opened it, my mind set on a sole destination.

The training grounds.

Childe would still be off on his mission, so I wouldn't have to worry about being interrupted by him. I didn't want to see him ever again. How could he lie to me like that and pretend like everything was perfectly fine when it wasn't, at least for me?

Unsheathing my polearm once I got outside to the arena, I raced at the nearest dummy and started beating it up, eyes brimming with angry tears.

I shouldn't have stayed. I should've left while I could. Maybe I would have died trying, but that would be much more preferable than this, right?

Whack!

With a loud thump, the last of the remaining dummies had been obliterated, and I stood there, panting from exhaustion. I eyed the fallen dummies for some time, and then I burst out crying.

I had no idea how long I sat there sobbing. All I knew was that at some point Childe came out to the training grounds and spotted me. Confused, he walked over to me and spoke softly, but still startled me nevertheless.

"Hey, Y/N. What's wrong?"

I jolted in surprise, whipping my head around, and cursed under my breath when I saw that it was Childe. The last person I wanted to see.

"Leave me alone," I said in a cold tone, turning to face away from the ginger. Maybe it wasn't his fault that I was stuck here, but it felt easier to let my anger out on him. Who else would care? I didn't even know anybody else in the Palace.

Childe opened his mouth to speak, but no words left his lips. Finally, he tentatively sat down beside me and wrapped me in a hug.

Too surprised at first to do anything, I just sat rigidly for a few seconds. Then, coming to my senses, I pushed Childe away from me. "I said leave. me. be."

Childe's eyes widened, and for some reason, I felt a twang of guilt. And even though I tried to hide it, I started crying again despite myself.

"Why, Childe? Why did you just let my memory be erased like that? Why?" I whispered, still sobbing.

Childe's eyes widened even more at the question. It finally dawned upon him that I must have put the pieces together. His face paled dramatically.

"I- The Tsaritsa- It's my duty....." Childe stuttered awkwardly, unsure of how to answer. I scoffed and shook my head in disbelief.

"Thought you'd say something like that."

There was a long, tense silence, which Childe broke by whispering, "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I had no idea of the pain you'd have to endure because of that..."

I looked away again. I wasn't going to forgive him anytime soon. I wanted, needed, to stay angry.

"Whatever. I'm leaving. Don't follow me."

Before Childe could say anything, I raced back inside and to my room, where I flung open the door and threw myself on my bed for the second time that day, sobbing uncontrollably.

I had no idea why I was acting like this. It shouldn't be a big deal.

But it was.

It should be considered a crime to lie to a person to such an extent that they are willing to believe anything you say.

But to the Fatui, ethics and moral ideals don't matter.

All that matters is the Tsaritsa. And themselves.

A/N: Well that's it for now. I will work on the next chapter and post next Wednesday as per my posting schedule. Sorry I updated so late! I was watching Incredibles 2 last night and the rest of the day was a full day of school and lots of school projects to catch up on. I'm so glad I've gotten them all over with because now I'm free for the rest of the long weekend!

Have a great day!