《 It's Been A While 》Steve Rogers X Reader

~Chapter 23 ~

TW: Rape is implied in this chapter!!

After our little outing with Steve, him and I have been talking a lot more frequently. We've met up at the coffee shop a few times after work and he almost always visits me in my office. The past couple of weeks with him have been wonderful.

Rumlow has also made his appearance the past few weeks. He came back a week after the carnival; no flowers, no apology, no nothing. He just walked in and looked in my fridge.

He did eventually apologize and surprise me with gifts and showers of affection. These would usually calm myself down and have me head over heels again, but not this time. I just put up with it. Feeling nothing. I wanted to turn away. To frown, but was physically unable to.

The craziest part is, while he was gone I still took those damn pills. Twice a day. Each time I did I felt drowsy and my mind clouded, but did it anyways. My body acted on its own and welcomed Rumlow back. All out of habit.

I was currently in my bedroom, hugging my pillow to my chest like a high school girl thinking about her crush. I couldn't stop smiling as I tried to talk Steve through video calls.

"You can mute yourself, so I won't hear you but you can still hear me."

"Okay." Steve searched for the button on the screen and tested it out.

"You can turn your video off, so I won't see you but you can see me."

"Uh huh."

"And you can use these silly filters." I turn one on and Steve's eyes brighten.

"No way, I wanna use one! Where?" I giggled as he searched for it. "Y/n help, I can't find it!"

"Oh well, I guess only I'll get to enjoy it then."

"Y/n that's not fair," he laughed. I laughed with him. I enjoyed our late night calls, though it was only 6:27 pm.

Wait. 6:27?

I turned my head towards the front door as I heard it jiggle. I say goodbye to Steve and quickly turn the t.v. on, pretending like I was in the living room the entire time. When Rumlow comes in, he spots me and his features relax.

"Hey, babe girl," he calls out to me. I look at him. I just want to flip him off so bad!

"Hey, baby." I smile uncontrollably and walk up to him. This isn't how I want to act at all! I give him a quick peck on the cheek and decide to start dinner.

He quickly wraps his arms around me from behind, kissing my neck and whispering in my ear, "No need, babe. Let's just order take out and watch a movie."

He spins me around and gives me a passionate kiss. I'm guided to the couch by Rumlow and he browses the options. We end up putting on "Snow Piercer" as I move closer to Rumlow. He swings his arm around my shoulder.

As the movie goes on, I realize that the main actor looks similar to Steve.

What movie would Steve like to watch? Would he want popcorn or something sweet with his movie? Is he a home movie or theater lover? As the movie goes on, I've lost myself in thoughts about Steve.

Throughout the movie, I can feel Rumlow getting handsy. He leans over to me.

"This is getting boring, yeah? Come on." Without waiting for my response, he scoops me up and walks towards the bedroom.

Dreading what's coming next, he lays me down and kisses my neck, collarbone, and works his way down, taking off what's necessary and more as he does so.

Without so much as a warning he enters, and all I can do is look at the ceiling. He never asks or makes sure I'm okay before hand. He doesn't even ask if he should use protection. Is that how it's supposed to go? He was my first, so I assume this is normal.

However, it doesn't feel the same as it did the first time. Now it's a cold, selfish, disgusting feeling spreading throughout my body. I hate it. It doesn't feel right. His hands and lips touching me, praising me. I want to hide away and burn his presence from my skin. I want him to stop.

But I can't stop it. It's not my decision. It's his. And he keeps going until he is satisfied, whether I want him to or not.

When he's done he looks at my shriveled self, messily undone and disgusted. Though I try to conceal it, I can feel my emotions seeping through. Rumlow cups my face and looks at me with cold, selfish eyes.

"I love you, y/n. I truly do."

"I... love you, too." I say what I'm supposed to say.

Rumlow leaves me to clean everything up and gets into the shower. I sit on the edge of the bed, holding myself as I shiver. It's cold.

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That night, I can't sleep. I can feel Rumlow next to me and every breath he takes makes me want to cry. That wasn't... what happened earlier wasn't what I think it was. That's how it's been everytime. You're just being sensitive now.

My convincing is no use. I get up out of bed and check the time. 11:02 PM. I get up and write a little note for Rumlow in the morning on one of my corgi butt notepads.

Had to leave for work early. See you at home later. Y/n.

Putting on sweatpants and a hoodie, I grab my phone and keys and leave the apartment as quietly as possible.

I actually live in the apartments near here. Next time we should walk to the park and jog together!

I drive down the street in the cold for what seems like hours before I spot a familiar motorcycle. I practically knock on every apartment door looking for him.

Before I knock on the next one I feel tears falling. I was loosing hope. This was useless. I knock anyways, wiping my face with my sleeve while I wait.

"Y/n?"

I look up to see Steve looking down at me. I look at my feet. What was I thinking?! I look a mess right now and I'm literally this close to bawling my eyes out!

"Y/n is everything okay? It's really late--" he's cut off as a gut wrenching sob prys it's way out of me.

I embrace Steve, tightly and wipe my tears on his shirt before new ones form. He gives me hushed words and guides me inside. I manage to let out a sniffle.

"I'm here to cash in my slushie favor..."

♡