Right person, wrong time

Part 47

It had been 4 week since Meredith had pack their bags and left. 4 long weeks since Derek had been alone. He decided to head back home as he could no longer face the questions and looks from his family anymore. The thing was, he hated how empty the house felt without them. So there he sat, twirling Meredith's engagement ring is his hand as he took a sip from his beer.

"Derek?" He heard his best friends voice coming from the door.

"I'm in the living room." He said as he placed his beer down on the table and he dropped his head back, closing his hand around the ring.

"Hey man, I've got beers." Mark said as he walked in and placed the bottles down on the table before dropping down next to Derek.

"Thanks man." He said as he finally lifted his head up and giving him an attempt of a smile.

"Have you heard from Meredith?" Mark asked as he grabbed himself a beer before pacing one to Derek.

"Hm, yeah. We spoke last night, she was just telling me about how the baby is. Then I spoke to Phoebe..." Derek said nodding his head.

"That's good. Did she mention when she was coming home?" Mark asked, but watched as Derek shook his head.

"I just miss them so much and I know if I go out there then it will just makes things worse. But if she doesn't come home soon then she won't be able to fly back because she will be too far gone and I could miss the birth of our baby. I mean she is 26 weeks and we still have so much to sort. She doesn't want to come back here, so I need to find somewhere for us to live and get it ready before the baby is born. I just feel like I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders and I don't know what to do." Derek said as the tears couldn't be stopped anymore and they streamed down his face.

Mark opened his mouth to speak but was quickly interrupted by his phone ringing and he couldn't ignore it when he saw it was Lexie.

"Hey." He said, smiling at Derek before moving out to the hall before speaking to Lexie. "Now isn't a good time, Derek needs me..."

Mark went quiet as he listened to Lexie ramble on before sighing.

"Look, I will leave now and be home shortly, just get him in the bath and I will be home soon. Ok, bye I love you." He said as he ended the call and slipped his phone back into his pocket.

"Hey man..."

"You've got to go, it's fine, in understand." Derek smiled as he watched his best friend smile at him before walking out and leaving Derek once alone again.

The silence was consuming him and he couldn't hack it anymore so he pushed himself up and pushed himself and he headed upstairs. He walked into their room and headed towards the wardrobe, where he pulled out a box and placed it down on the bed. Slowly, he lifted the lid off and picked up the pale blue baby blanket that had been wrapped around his son for the few hours that Meredith was able to hold him.

He was glad that Meredith had put all of this together, so they would still have some attach to their son even though he didn't get the chance to meet him. The next thing he took out was a photo of Meredith cradling their little boy, her expression on her face showed just how exhausted and broken she had been in that moment and he couldn't even begin to imagine how it hard it must have been for her in that moment.

It wasn't until his tears dropped onto the photograph that he realised he was crying. He hands tightened around the blanket as he truly allows himself to cry and mourn the lose of their son. He couldn't bare to be alone anymore, he needed his family back.

**********
Meanwhile, Meredith was watching her daughter play on the park, aware that Addison was speaking to her but she wasn't listening. She needed to go home but she couldn't. Her left hand felt so bare without her engagement ring and her life felt empty without Derek in it.

"Meredith are you even listening to me?" Addison said shoving her shoulder lightly.

"Sorry, what?" Meredith said turning to frown at her.

"Look, you know I love having you and Phoebe here but don't you think it's time you went home? I'm not kicking you out but everyday you are getting closer and closer to your due date and if you aren't careful then you won't be able to go back at all because you won't be able to fly." Addison said as she looked at her friend.

"I know I should, but what if I don't want to." Meredith turned and saw Addison frowning at her. "Look, I know it sounds crazy but going back there...it reminds me of the attack. If I go back there I have to live with that everyday. We can be happy here."

"So that's it? You're just going to walk away from Derek once again. What so Derek would only get to see his kids in the holidays? Or when he finally manages to get some time off work, wow you really are being selfish." Addison said as she stood up and smoothed down her skirt. "Look, I'm going to work, I'll see you later." She said before walking off, her heels clicking against the pavement as she disappeared out of view.

"Mommy?" Phoebe said causing Meredith to turn and face her daughter.

"Yes Phoebe."

"When are we going home? I miss daddy, nanny and aunt Amy." Phoebe said as he eyes all of a sudden looked sad and no longer had that sparkle. It was obvious to anyone around the Phoebe was truly missing her family.

"Soon, really soon. I promise." She said as she cupped her daughters face in her hands whilst her other daughter kicked away. "Come on, your baby sister wants ice cream so what do you say? Shall we go and get some before we go and get on a big plane again."

"Yes!" Phoebe cheered happily before twirling on the spot and taking Meredith's hand as she stood up. "Can I have coffee? It's daddy's favourite flavour." Phoebe said as she looked up to Meredith.

She nodded her head before they set off for the ice cream shop. It hit her in that moment when she realised how selfish she had been, she had only been thinking about herself, not thinking about the consequences it would have on all of them. She had to stop this. The self sabotaging had to stop. This is exactly what Scott would have wanted, watching them crumble and fall apart. She couldn't let this happen.

So they were going home. She had to get her family back.