Right person, wrong time

Part 8

Life had been more than difficult the past few days as Meredith had to repeatedly tell Phoebe that papa Henry had gone away and she would never get to see him again. With her unpredictable mood swings, Meredith and Scott decided to keep her out of day care and at home with him. She had even cancelled going to dinner at Mark and Lexie's promising to make it up to them.

"Yes Lexie, look I'm off Thursday, so I will come and get you, go shopping whatever you want to do." Meredith said down the phone as she walked through the hospital.

"Good because Mark is driving me insane, he is treating me like a baby, doesn't let me out of his sight." Lexie complained down the phone.

"Well, you are literally due any day now so that's understandable, Scott was the same." Meredith laughed as she heard Lexie groan down the phone.

"Look just come and get me on Thursday, bring snacks as well, I've got to go, Mark wants to read to my stomach, seems to think it will make the baby smarter. Bye Mer."

"Bye Lexie." She said, laughing as she tucked her phone in her pocket.

"Mer." She heard from beside her and she turned to face them, finding Derek stood there.

"Derek, hey."

"Hey, look we really need to talk, we haven't talked since you know." He said, hinting at the heartbreaking conversation they had the other day.

"Oh yeah, can we go your office though?" She asked as she started to notice the nurses staring at them and desperate to get any scoop on them.

"Yeah of course."

Meredith walked away as Derek trailed behind her. They eventually reached his office as they walked in and they locked the door behind them.

Meredith immediately took a seat on the sofa and she tapped the seat next to her, watching as Derek moved and sat next to her.

"Look, I'm going to talk and I need you to listen, don't talk, just listen. Alright?" Meredith asked watching as Derek nodded his head. Taking a deep breath in, she was about to dive into a part of her past that broke her every time she talked about it.

"Right, so after I got on that plane and headed off to Italy, I started feeling really sick and dizzy. I ended up getting admitted to a hospital over there and they ran my bloods, telling me I was pregnant. Honestly, I didn't know what to do or think, not going to lie, I was immediately thinking of getting an abortion." She said, watching as Derek's face stayed emotionless.

"But I couldn't, I couldn't go through with it. We made that baby and it was the last little bit I had of you so I just, I was holding on to you through this baby. I decided to keep travelling for a bit cause I knew once I had this baby, I wouldn't be able to do it and then I returned home. I came to your house but you had already moved on, you looked happy so I just left. I realise now that was wrong but in that moment, I couldn't have you pick another woman over me, I had our little one to think about as well." Meredith said as she dried her tears, Derek leaning over to pass her a tissue.

"Thank you." She smiled quickly at him before continuing on.

"It was the perfect pregnancy, I got myself a little apartment, set up the nursery, I was so ready for our little boy..." Meredith was cut off as Derek spoke up.

"Boy? We was having a little boy." Derek said as he rubbed his hand across his face, watching as Meredith nodded her head.

"Yeah, our little Greyson. Here." She said as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, handing it Derek.

Derek looked down at the piece of paper in his hand and unfolded, realising it was a photo of their son.

"What happened?" He asked keeping his eyes on the photo. He couldn't tear his eyes away from it as he ran his finger over it lovingly.

"Still birth, we had no idea. My waters broke so I phoned for an ambulance where they took me to the hospital and they told me there was no heartbeat and I had to prepare myself to say goodbye." Meredith said as she sobbed, her body aching for their son that never got to experience how wonderful life could truly be.

"It's alright, come here." Derek said as he pulled Meredith into his arms and eventually into his lap. "It's not your fault, there's nothing you could have done to have stopped this from happening." He said as he kissed the top of her head.

"He was so beautiful." Meredith said as her hand joined Derek's on the photo. "He looked just like you. I'm so sorry I took the opportunity away from you to say goodbye to your son." Meredith said as her eyes turned to meet his.

Derek knew he had every right to be angry at Meredith right now but he couldn't. Just seeing her that broken was too much for him to handle. She had, had enough heartbreak and guilt for the last few years.

"He would be 7 now." Meredith said as she squeezed his hand.

"I'm sorry you had to go through this alone Meredith, I just, fuck." Derek said as he placed his head back and cried for his son. His son. It still didn't feel real, he should have gone with Meredith. He should have been there but he was too busy getting around, trying his best to get over Meredith.

"You didn't know Derek, please don't blame yourself." She said as he lifted his head up.

He reached out and ran his fingers along her jaw line, before lifting her chin up with his thumb and leaning in to press his lips against hers. This time Meredith didn't pull apart as they both needed this, just to feel connected to one another once again.

Meredith moved and straddle his lap, keeping their lips together as their tongues began to battle one another. Derek bit down on her lip slightly causing her to finally pull back, her fingers going to her lips.

"That shouldn't have happened." Meredith gasped as she leaped out of his lap and began pacing the room. "I mean you're engaged to Melissa and she's lovely, like it's impossible to hate her. What did we do? Why did we do that?" Meredith rambled to herself, not stopping once.

"Meredith." Derek said as he slipped the photo of Greyson into his pocket before standing up and placing his hands on her shoulders to stop. "We got caught up in the moment, but it doesn't have to change anything. I want us to be friends again Meredith."

"Friends, I can do that." Meredith said as she smiled up at him, desperately wanting to lean in and kiss him again but she couldn't.

"Good." Derek smiled back at her before his phone began to ring causing them to pull apart.

"Melissa hey." He said answering his phone, watching as Meredith left his office. Collapsing in his seat, he pulled out the photo once again staring lovingly at it.

He wasn't even listening as Melissa rambled on about their wedding that was approaching them quickly. In 6 months time, Derek would be a married man. He should be ecstatic but honestly he wasn't.

Maybe Meredith coming back into his life was a sign. She was a light in his life once again and his heart swelled every time he saw her happy and laughing. A sign to fight for them and make up for the lost time they had missed out on together. But he had to know, did Meredith feel the same way as him?