HUNGRY EYES || J.JK × Reader ✔

chapter 31 | Hushed up

[ Kimoon just came here and wanted to have a talk >

My heart skips a beat out of anxiousness as soon as my eyes read this, and I hurry to answer.

< what did he do and say? ]

I wait without sending more messages since I know she must be writing and explaining. I cannot wait to know what he tried to do or say, I hope that there is nothing wrong, but if it was the case, she would not talk about it that way and tell me so quickly.

This feels so long, I do not know what this is about, and this is the worst about it.

/ flashback \

'YOUR P.O.V'

The last sentences being written, I sip on my coffee that keeps me warm and awake, but a knocking on my door interrupts the peacefulness in the room. I drop my pencil out of surprise and check my phone, wondering if missed a text from Jungkook or Hojun.

I did not. I frown at my screen but put my drink down and stand up to head to the door, and I open it, hoping for the person to not be someone I do not want to see.

Once I come across them, I look up at their face but nibble on my inner cheek because of the nervousness they just provoked in me.

"Hey..." he breaks the silence between us, but I tuck my hand, which is not on the door, in a pocket of my hoodie and glance away. "What do you want?"

"I...I want to talk to you, y/n...Can I have just a moment, please? I won't bother you again after this," he nearly begs me to have a conversation with me when I already made it clear in the past. "What is it about?" I set my eyes on him, still remembering what he did to me. "It's...about us. I mean, me. I need to get things off my chest."

I sigh through my nose, sharply but step aside and tell him to come inside. Then I close the door but stand on my spot, and I cross my arms over my chest. "Tell me right away because I don't want to wait."

"Listen, I know you don't want to talk about it again, but I really need to tell you those things. I apologize, and I'll never stop doing it because I regret being such an immature asshole, and I'm not doing this to try to get you to forgive me. I won't ever forgive myself for it, but I wish you could just realize or believe me when I say that I wish this didn't happen that way, and now...I just..." he loses his words, repeating the same speech that he said more than one year ago. "Since you got close to Jungkook and Hojun and that you spend time with us, it's so fucking hard for me to hear your voice, your laughter, and to see you so close to me...I...I know I shouldn't tell you this, but I miss you a lot. I miss us so much since you're around, I could handle it until then, but this is so much more difficult these days because I thought I moved on, but I'm starting to get those feelings again, and I hate myself so much for it because I don't know how to deal with them."

I cannot believe he is doing this and telling me all this. How can he talk about feelings, missing us, when he knows I am with Jungkook?

"Kimoon, I'm sorry that you feel that way, but I'm not yours anymore, and I'll never be. You shouldn't tell me those things knowing that I'm with Jungkook," I do not let him believe in anything, no being ambiguous at all. I moved on, I do not miss him, I love Jungkook now, so he is just my past.

He does not say anything right away but stares into my eyes, and no matter how much time we spent away from each other, how much I hate it, I know this look very well. "I'm sorry..." he licks his lips but breaks the eye contact, his eyes glistening. "I was okay with you, I didn't mind talking to you at first because I had moved on and didn't want to stay in this sort of uncomfortable situation since you were close to Jungkook, but after that picture you sent me, I was so disappointed in you—"