Liar, Liar

31: Help me Remember

Snape stood in the doorway, staring directly down at me, unspeaking.

I gulped. "Good evening," I croaked.

He did not reply, yet moved out of the way, allowing me in.

I mentally rolled my eyes. If he was just going to be rude, why had I come here in the first place?

As soon as I had thought that, the door slammed behind us, leaving us in near darkness, save a torch on his front desk.

Snape was a shadow as he walked toward me.

"You've been avoiding me," he leered, taking long strides until he joined me in the middle of the room. "Quite late in the year to transfer your specialty to Transfiguration. Professor McGonagall has told me you are doing quite well. Perhaps it was a wise choice," he mused.

"I had a change of heart," I whispered. He was getting closer and my legs were turning to jelly.

"You didn't even stop in to say goodbye..." Snape smirked, stroking a piece of my hair with his long fingers.

"I didn't think it was necessary..." my voice cracked. I was doing a shit job at keeping a poker face.

"I can still hear you, Zelle," he voice resounded from somewhere behind me. He circled me like a hunter does their prey. "I know what you think of... I know you think of me," he scoffed.

"I haven't in a long while," I said indignantly, trying to save the little dignity I had left. He had stripped me to pieces once, was this any different? He knew he's always be able to see the whole me, all of my secrets, my desires. He was just doing this for his own pleasure, for his own fun.

I hated the part of me that enjoyed it too.

Snape chuckled softly.

I bit my lip, on the verge of drawing blood.

"Yet here you are..." he clicked his tongue. "Entertaining my so-called 'pleasure'".

"Will you stop reading my mind?!" I shouted, turning to him. "And stop circling me so we can have a proper conversation! What did you even call me here for?"

"Don't raise your voice at me, little girl," he scoffed. "Know your place," he continued to walk circles around me, looking me up and down.

Tears rose to my eyes. "Why do you do this to me?" I whispered. "Why me? Do you torture Rachel like this too? You're just a monster who likes to use people," my voice cracked again, betraying me.

"Who?" He stopped in his tracks, furrowing his eyebrows.

"You don't even remember her name!" I cried hysterically. "You really don't care for anyone!"

"Who is Rachel?" He stopped circling me, grabbing my chin in his hand roughly.

I shook my head, trying to remove his hand. "The girl you took into your classroom that one night. Malfoy and I heard everything. I know what you did with her," tears were starting to spill out of my eyes. I had lost control, and he was taking over slowly. As he always did.

"You mean the pitiful Slytherin who begged me to take her into my classroom and take your place?" He scowled. "I did nothing but tell her to leave me the hell alone and take points from her house."

My place? What did he mean, take my place?

My head spun as I took in the information.

"I thought you two had... I thought you had..." I blubbered, wiping my face.

"You thought wrong. But you've always been like that... jumping to conclusions..." he smirked.

"Why am I here?" I asked once more, my voice becoming stronger with every word.

He tilted his head. He knew I had another question to ask him, an I hated him for it.

"What do you mean by 'take my place'?" I asked shamefully.

"I've told you once, and I'll tell you again," he said, tilting my chin up with his index finger. I was staring straight into his eyes. "You know your place with me."

"I don't," I whispered.

"You do," he insisted.

"No. Not anymore."

"It hasn't changed."

"I can't remember."

"Try."

An order.

"Help me remember."

We stood in silence, his hand slowly drawing a pattern down my neck, across my collarbone.

The silence of the room was deafening.

With a force, a magnitude like no other, his hand was in my hair, his lips on mine. My face was aflame, yet my heart beat out a warning signal.

This wasn't safe.

But I couldn't stay away.

I relaxed into his arms, holding me up as my legs shook nonetheless.

He pulled me deeper into his embrace as his fingers worked tangles into my hair as a soft sigh escaped my mouth.

This was where I belonged, and where I would forever remain.